(Because sometimes milk and cookies aren’t enough.)

                                       Beer For Christmas

                                                By Jeff Baker

            We left Santa beer for Christmas

            Next morning he was in our den

            Just as jolly as could be

            Right in front of our T.V.

            Watching ESPN

            Now Santa and our Dad have bonded

            They’re best buds the whole year long

            We get presents every day

            We fly to school in Santa’s sleigh

            What could possibly go wrong?

            Mrs. Claus sent a text

            Common sense set in

            Those presents won’t deliver themselves

            Kids’ll be disappointed

            The reindeer won’t be happy

            And what about the elves?

            So Santa took off in September

            Waved goodbye and thanked us for the brew

            Christmas morn we got a shock

            When we looked into our socks

            We got gold cards, labeled “Merry Christmas to You.”

                                    —end—