authorjeffbaker

A Friday Flash Fics Extra: “H20”

by Jeff Baker

Kenny Briscoe followed cautiously along as his husband who called himself Hank Jones strode down the sidewalk in Washington DC. There were some early-morning tourists but not as many as Kenny had expected as they walked East past the Lincoln Memorial towards the Washington Monument, a white strip against the blue sky.

He’d been to DC before, but this time it felt like being in an occupied city. Hank had reminded Kenny that he’d been in wartime Washington; “Back in the 1860s, 1940s, I wasn’t here around 1916.” Hank had said.

Hank looked like a medium-sized 40-something of indeterminate ethnic origin. People had guessed Latino or Asian. Actually he was from an otherdimensional world (“We get a great view of the Hyades,”) and was one of the “Underlords Of the Lahadnedjj,” which he said was basically a magical engineering degree and had been around for about 400 years.

Kenny looked like what he was; a medium-sized Black man also in his 40s. The pair had met, fallen for each other and moved in together, their lives becoming what Kenny had called “a Gay 1960s supernatural sitcom.” A while back, Hank had “Blended” their metabolisms so that Kenny would share his extended lifespan. This had the side effect of making both of them the same height and general size and giving Hank something of Kenny’s tan.

“Really politically incorrect,” Hank had laughed more than once.

Hundreds of years with the man you loved looked like a nice future.

But right now, Hank was pissed. He’d been watching the news reports from DC and had had enough. So when Kenny’s business took him to New York City, Hank arranged a side trip. He’d outlined what he was planning and asked Kenny to come along “Just in case it really poops me out and I need help back to the motel.”

Kenny said he wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Besides, he was curious since Hank had insisted they get there by commuter train, not by him using magic.

“There it is,” Hank said, stopping and pointing.

It took Kenny a moment to recognize the scene, familiar from hundreds of movies and TV shows; the long rectangle of water reflecting the blue (or cloudy) sky bracketed by the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument with the Capitol Building in the background. But the Reflecting Pool was a stagnant green somehow contrasting with the rows of trees on either side of the pool.

And the chain link fence surrounding the pool, several soldiers in fatigues stationed along the fence.

“This is ridiculous.” Kenny said.

Hank nodded.

“Let’s not get too close,” Kenny said.

“Around there,” Hank said pointing at the row of trees.

The two of them walked with the trees between them and the fenced-in pool, hank looking through the gaps at the pool.

“If that’s a pool, they ought to have Swamp Thing as a lifeguard.” Hank said.

Kenny snickered.

Hank stopped and ducked down, motioning for Kenny to do the same.

“This looks good,” Hank said as Kenny followed him into a clump of bushes. “Ought to keep us hidden, but what I’m gonna do is gonna make me kind of ovious.”

Hank stood up and cleared his throat. Then he began to recite:

“Water, Water, standing vile

Strewn here with greenish bile

Blue Sky Mirror now in damp

Manner of a fetid swamp

Water pristine, clear be found

Be brought here to this sacred ground

Replace this swamp which I do take…”

Here Hank paused almost thoughtfully and then finished.

“The world it reflects will be the one that we make!”

Hank had raised his hands as he whispered the last line and shouted out the last word. Kenny was sure he heard it echo off the marble buildings in the distance. He hoped none of the soldiers had heard it. Kenny couldn’t tell looking through the bushes, trees and fence around the pool. He ducked a little lower, realizing that wouldn’t do a lot of good to keep him hidden since Hank was standing there ramrod straight, arms spread above him like a cross between Charlton Heston in “The 10 Commandments” parting the Red Sea, and Aunt Clara from “Bewitched.” And he stood there for a long moment as nothing happened. Kenny could still see the greenish water, he thought he saw it glitter but that was just reflected sunlight. Wasn’t it?

Then there was a distant roar of wind and the breeze picked up. Hank grit his teeth, closed his eyes and clenched his fists. A sudden powerful gust of wind shook the trees and there was a blinding burst of light form the reflecting pool, along with a clap of thunder which all knocked Kenny to the ground. When Kenny’s eyes cleared from the flash, the first thing he noticed was Hank sitting on the ground breathing hard. Kenny sat up and put his hand on his husband’s shoulder.

“You okay?” Kenny asked.

Hank nodded and pointet through the trees. “Look.”

Kenny popped his head above the bushes where they were hiding. The soldiers around the pool were getting to their feet, some of them rubbing their eyes, some of them staring at the fence which had been knocked outward and was laying on the ground. One of the soldiers was crawling out from under one of the sections of fence. None of them seemed hurt.

The Reflecting Pool looked as clear and inviting as it ever had. The pool showing the clear blue sky ablve and the shimmering image of the Washington Monument looking like a great finger bordered by the edges of the pool.

“That oughta do it,” Hank said. “Whew!”

“Wow.” Kenny said.

“Good as new.” Hank said softly. “Now, let’s get out of here before they notice us and start asking questions.”

The two tried to walk out of the bushes as nonchalantly as they could in the opposite direction of the pool, then turned and headded in the direction of the National Mall.

“Are you all right?” Kenny asked.

Hank nodded. “A little winded. Just don’t ask me to zap us anywhere for a while. That business with the water pooped out my zapper for a little bit.”

“I can imagine,” Kenny said. “Hey, I thought you said you couldn’t transmute all that algae? Living matter and all?”

“I didn’t.” Hank said. I moved it. Popped it out of the pool and swapped it for a Reflecting Pool-sized chunk of water from the Tidal Basin.” Hank stopped and thought for a second. “About, oh, 2,300 and some feet.”

“Oh.” Kenny said.

They resumed walking and Hank started rambling.

“The trick is actually coordinating swapping out the pool gunk and replacing it and disintegrating that awful blue liner, which I had to do with a spoken spell because I don’t have the raw power to move all of that so I had to set up the program in my head and then invoke the power with the words and let that turn on the juice and…”

Kenny smiled. He loved all Hank’s Magic 101 lectures. But Kenny also knew he’d better watch for both of them when they crossed the Washington streets.

“Of course, I wasn’t totally sure it would all work the way I wanted,” Hank said. “But I said the stuff which pulled in the power and Whammo! It did the trick.”

The two of them were standing at a crosswalk waiting for the signal to change and Hank didn’t notice or care when a lady stared at him as he went on.

“I’m actually proud of that incantation.” Hank said. “I was going for a Stephen Vincent Benet feel for it and I think…”

They crossed the street and the lady crossed the other way as Hank and Kenny walked down the sidewalk.

They had reached the National Mall when a thought struck Kenny.

“Hey, one thing,” Kenny said. “Where did you send all that green water and algae? I mean, it’s not going to mess up the Tidal Basin, is it?”

“Didn’t send it there.” Hank said. “I mean, if it worked it should have…well.”

Hank stood there in the grass of the Mall and grinned at Kenny.

“If it worked you will hear a story on the news about them blaming the sewer system. Or backed-up toilets. Or enemy saboteurs. Do they even stillcall them that?” Hank said.

“Blaming?” Kenny asked. “Who?”

“You’ll know.” Hank said grinning again. “I popped all that green water and algae into the living room at Mar-A-Lago!”

The two men’s laughter could be heard across the National Mall on that bright, sunny day.

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Bear with me. The story for the prompt pic will be written and posted next week, but this one just breezed out of me. I’ve done a few stories that mirror the national mood but this one is just an obvious wish-fulfillment/revenge story. The kind magazine editors hate writers to send them, but I loved doing this one!

Previous stories about Hank and Kenny on this blog can be found through the link below, and this one first appeared on “RoMMantic Reads.” https://rommanticreads.wordpress.com/2023/06/17/jeff-baker-make-me-immortal-with-a-kiss/