Copycat Case for Friday Flash Fics, by Jeff Baker, August 30, 2019

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                                           The Copycat Case

By Jeff Baker

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m probably stretching it getting this story out of the picture, but trust me, I know what I’m doing.

            Chapter One: Happiness Is A Worn Gun

“A copycat? What kind of copycat?”

“Just watch the video, you’ll see.”

The security video from the bank was grainy and black and white. Customers lined up in the early afternoon. Then a figure in a suit with a flower in his lapel, wearing dark glasses strode in the doorway.

“Attention, everybody!” he said. “Police. We have reason to believe this bank is in danger of being robbed. The Department has the building surrounded.” He flashed a badge and pulled a large Magnum from a shoulder holster. “Don’t panic. Just follow my instructions and we can apprehend these miscreants.”

“Miscreants?” I said staring at the screen.

“Keep watching.”

“Security, guard the back door,” the man in the suit said “They may come in through there. If they do, you and the men from the Department will have them covered. I’ll just need you to temporarily hide any deposits, withdrawals, what have you to avoid any danger when those people come in here.” He quickly loaded a bag full of cash, checks and deposit bags into another bag, all the while waving his Magnum. “When they find out it looks like you’ve already been robbed, that will confuse them.” He looked up at the security camera and saluted. “Don’t worry. I’ve done this before.”

The man stepped into the doorway, tripped, flipped over, his gun firing and shooting out a lightbulb. He then dashed outside.

The Chief Inspector shut off the video and sighed. “The security guard said he was afraid to follow the thief for fear the guy would trip again and accidentally shoot him.”

“This sounds familiar,” I said.

“It should. Do you remember a TV series called Wood Mallett?”

“Vaguely,” I said. “Wasn’t that the comedy about the out of control, crazy cop who still solved cases?”

“Only lasted six episodes. They ended it with Woodrow Mallett going undercover in a mental hospital in part one. There was no part two. Now, some nut is copying the character’s methods and getting away with it!”

Chapter Two: Arsenal And Old Lace

The night was dark and the downtown was quiet. The blue-white glow on top of the ATM lit a small area of the dark, asphalt parking lot. The beaten up 1970s hardtop pulled up alongside it. The man in the suit and dark glasses stepped out and quickly hooked one end of a chain to the ATM, then hooked the other end to the bumper of his car. He then popped the trunk and pulled out a bazooka.

The man shouldered the bazooka and grinned into the ATM’s security camera.

“Not gonna swallow this credit card are you?”

He fired. The base of the machine exploded and the man quickly drove off, dragging the rest of the ATM with him. His laughing was recorded by the camera at the nearby gas station.

We arrived on the scene about twenty minutes later. I stared. Without even examining it I was able to tell the other officers what make the bazooka was.

“It was used in an episode of Wood Mallett, the one where he pretends to go crazy.”

“He’s doing a pretty good job of it, if you ask me,” Officer Garcia said shaking his head.

“Yeah,” I said. “He is doing a pretty good job of it…I have an idea.”

Chapter Three: Minimum PI

Four patrol cars pulled into the parking lot of the amusement park. We surrounded a large, plastic clown face with an open mouth, labeled TRASH.

“You’re surrounded!” I said. “Leave the clown with your hands up!”

“How did you know I was in there?” he asked after we had him frisked and handcuffed. We’d caught him asleep; he was wearing an honest-to-God nightshirt with one of those funny caps.

“It’s where Wood Mallett hid in the episode you were using. You copied his methods too well; we got the DVD and found out your next move.”

“Hey, wait!” he yelled. “You can’t haul me to jail just like that!”

“Don’t worry,” I said, smiling. “We’ve done this before.”

 

—end—

 

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“If Two Trains Leave The Station…” Friday Flash Fics (Way Late!) For August 23, 2019 by Jeff Baker

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        If Two Trains Leave The Station At Ten-Fifteen, When Do We Eat?

By Jeff Baker

 

“Okay, over here…” the graduate assistant said.

“Hey! I can see the stadium from here!”

“Yeah, and there’s the…”

“Shhh!”

“If I could have your attention,” the graduate assistant said. “Good. Now, this is the Science and Technology Center. It was built in nineteen…”

“NINETEEN?!?”

“Yes, Nineteen. Nineteen Eighty-Five,” the graduate assistant said, getting more and more frustrated. “There are sixty-eight classrooms, most with laboratory facilities and the state’s only up-to-date…”

“Hey, is this corridor like the one at MTV where you can see the sunrise through the hall?”

“MIT.”

“As I was saying, the state’s only up-to-date…”

“Hey! I heard Devaughn James played here!”

“Yeah!”

The graduate assistant sighed; they weren’t paying him enough.

 

—end—

 

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Two Stories Read by Angel Martinez

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Angel Martinez reads a weekly story (or part of one) on her blog on Fridays. She’s read one of mine before, and this past Friday she read two! Sure as my name is Jeff Baker, this is a thriller: https://angelmartinezauthor.weebly.com/from-angels-cave/friday-reading-day-marsden-tower-camera-obscura

Posted in Angel Martinez, Christmas, Demeter's Bar, Fantasy, Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Horror, Jack Finney, Science Fiction, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Who has Seen The Wind? Friday Flash Fics for August 16, 2019 by Jeff Baker (posted way late!)

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Neither I Nor You

By Jeff Baker

 

“Close the door! Hurry!” Mick said.

“Wait! Alex isn’t here!” I said.

“Screw Alex! He’ll have to…”

“Hold up! I’m here!” Alex said, almost running into the steel door.

We ducked into the building, crammed into the small hallway and I glanced back at the street with the blueish tinge of light and papers whipping around in the air as Mick slammed the door and slipped the bolts in place.

“We should be okay,” he said. “This building’s stood for about a hundred years.” Nonetheless, we could hear the roar of wind picking up outside.

“Let’s get upstairs before the power cuts out,” Alex said.

“We have a generator, thankfully.” Mick said, heading up the stairs.

Alex and I followed up to the third floor. The building was reinforced; nonetheless I was glad there weren’t a lot of upper floors.

When we finally reached the room, I felt a little better. The walls were thick and so was the glass on the window. There was a steel plate that could be lowered over the window and I could barely hear the wind through the stone walls. The room wasn’t that big but Mick had a couch, a monitor screen and a fridge. Anyway, the lights were still on, so I figured we’d be okay.

“I hate these things when they come in late summer,” Mick said.

“I hate them, period,” I said, sitting on the couch next to Alex. “I just hope it’s over soon.”

“I checked on the WeathaView about an hour ago, this one sprang out of nowhere.” Mick said. “That’s when I called you guys.”

“What’s it say now?” Alex said, pointing at the blank screen.

“Nothing,” Mick said. “It went out a few minutes ago.”

“Must be a big one,” I said, glancing out the window at the bluish glow. We’d all seen the videos of the icewinds ripping the paint off of a car or doing worse to an animal or a person.

“It ought to die down after a bit,” Mick said, pulling a beer out of the fridge. “Until then we have food, water, working toilets…”

“But what if it doesn’t die down?” Alex’s eyes were wild. “What if we’re stuck here and the food runs out and the power kicks off and our air supply with it?”

Mick and I exchanged glances; Alex was on the verge of hysterics.

“And what if we just ran outside and kept running and let that wind get us, like that lady up in Portland last month? Or what if…if…”

Alex broke down sobbing. I moved over to his side of the couch and put my arms around him. Mick sat on the arm of the couch and did the same thing. And we held him through the evening as the wind roared outside.

—end—

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Gee, It’s a Wonderful Game; Friday Flash Fics for August 9, 2019 by Jeff Baker

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Gee, It’s a Wonderful Game

By Jeff Baker

 

I held the old baseball in my hand and gawked.

“Babe Ruth?” I said awed. “Babe Ruth? Lou Gehrig? John Maguire? They signed this?”

“Well, those are their names,” Marc said. “I wrote ‘em when I was in grade school.”

“Oh,” I said. “Hey, who’s John Maguire?”

“Guy I went to school with. The ball is old, though,” Marc said. “It belonged to my Great-Grandfather. It’s at least a hundred years old. Probably older. He had it when he was a kid and he was born in 1895.”

“And somebody broke the window and tried to steal it?” I said, thumbing at the cracked glass in the old door.

“No,” Marc said. “I think the ball did it. I think the thing’s haunted.”

“Sure. Of course,” Nobody ever called me up to help them move or paint. It was always demon-possessed something-or-other. “I know my rep. I’m a walking magnet for the walking dead. When did this start acting up?”

“About six months ago,” Marc said. “I brought it here from Mom’s house and I thought I’d lost it in my apartment. I had it sitting on top of my bookcase…”

“On top of the old ball cap from school,” I said. He’d looked damn good in the uniform too, I thought.

“Yeah,” Marc said. “Then one morning I looked up and it wasn’t there. I thought it had fallen on the floor, but I checked under everything. When I got home from work the next afternoon, it was lying on the couch. That’s halfway around the room.” He shook his head. “That was the first time. It started showing up in places I hadn’t put it. I thought it was someone breaking in so I had my landlord change the locks.”

“And that didn’t help?” I said.

“Nope,” Marc said. He sighed. “The kicker, Billy, was when I was at home one night and I heard a THUMP THUMP THUMP! I’d put the ball in a drawer and it was bouncing away in there. I got up, opened the drawer and the thing sailed out, bounced off the ceiling and landed on the table. In a half-eaten bowl of soup I hadn’t put up.”

“Have you called an Exorcist? Or maybe ESPN?” I asked.

“No, I figured I’d call you first.” Marc said.

I sighed again. I should get a webpage: Billy Gonzalez, Ghosts Handled While U Wait. I shook my head.

“Okay, okay. You said you got this ball from your Grandfather?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Marc said. “In a box full of stuff after he died a few years ago. My Aunt still lives out there in California and she sent it to me.”

That was when the ball started to bounce on the table where I’d set it. It rolled off the table and over to the door with the broken window. I had a thought.

“Where was your Great Grandfather when he got this ball?” I asked.

“New York City,” Marc said. “He moved out west in ’59 I think. My granddad had a job out there and went with him.”

“Yeah, and you wound up going to college in Kansas and that’s where you met me. Did any of your family ever mention anything spooky about this baseball?”

“No.”

“Okay,” I said. “Let me try something.” I walked over to the baseball on the floor and cleared my throat. “California,” I said.

The ball reacted. It bounced on the floor a couple of times and then jumped through the shattered window, landing on the ground.

“West,” I said. “It’s heading west. Or trying to. Whichever team your Great-Grandfather liked, the ball seems to still be, well, loyal. Maybe that’s why they took it out to California in the first place.”

“So, I mail it out to California?” Marc said.

“Probably be safer to ship it by rail or something ground-based,” I said. “The way that thing acts.”

“Yeah,” Marc said. “And there’s probably no way to get a haunted, window-breaking ball insured in the mail.”

 

—end—

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Rendering Unto Friday Flash Fics, August 2, 2019 by Jeff Baker

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Render Unto Caesar

By Jeff Baker

“The University is up in arms,” Inspector Maguire said.

“I know,” said Professor Carrolton, sitting down at a desk in the University laboratory.

“The Mayor is asking questions, they want the Police Chief fired.”

“I heard,” Professor Carrolton said, wiping his glasses. “That’s the problem with medium-sized towns; everybody knows everybody’s business.”

“The statue’s picture was in the afternoon paper and now the statue’s gone,” Maguire said.

“I’m amazed we still have an afternoon paper,” Professor Carrolton said.

The statue, a bronze figure of Julius Caesar, big as life and a lot heavier and with the face of one of the University’s major donors had been relegated to a far corner of the campus where it was boxed in by tall hedges and an old, chipped sidewalk. Professor Carrolton stared at the photo in the paper; it had been taken that morning, the picture had appeared that afternoon and someone had noticed the statue had vanished that evening. The picture showed the statue, stern and imperious with a young man, grinning ear-to-ear in a Millington University tank-top flexing his muscles until his watchband nearly popped off.

“You questioned the young man in the picture I assume?” the Professor asked.

“Brian Knapp,” Maguire said. “Yes, we did. He and the photographer both. They didn’t see anything. Nobody lurking around with a forklift. No helicopter hovering overhead. Knapp was in class from nine in the morning until three that afternoon. Then he had basketball practice. And the photographer showed me the timestamp or whatever they call it on the digital camera. Hate those modern things!”

“The paper gets zapped onto our e-mail if we subscribe but some of us get a print copy,” the Professor said smiling.

“Anyway, the picture was taken at about eight-forty-five, and the photographer was downtown at the newspaper office right after that and stayed there the whole afternoon.”

“The last person to see the victim.” Professor Carrolton said as he walked across the room to a table filled with identical flasks of identical cloudy liquid. “The world is full of mysteries. Like which one of these flasks did I hide my car keys in so nobody would get them?”

“You hid your car keys in there?” Maguire asked. “Well, I guess if it works for you.”

“You should try not using the obvious places sometime,” Professor Carrolton said.

“Well, nobody would steal them or even look for them in there,” Maguire said.

Professor Carrolton smiled. “I didn’t hide my car keys in chemicals. I wouldn’t. But you believed I would for a moment. People can be led to believe all kinds of things with the right set up. Let’s get a close up of that picture. Where’s my magnifying glass?”

Maguire pulled out his cellphone and brought up the afternoon Millington News on the screen.

“Oh. Right,” the Professor said, smiling again, “Zoom in right there. There. Yes. Oh. My.”

The statue was found where it had been wheeled on a hand truck by Knapp, the photographer and two others the previous morning. Whether it was a prank or a heist Maguire wasn’t sure. But the time on the digital camera had been set ahead a day to make it look like the picture had been taken Wednesday not Tuesday, so everyone would have thought the statue had been stolen Wednesday when Knapp and the others had airtight alibis. The close up of Knapp’s picture in the paper revealed the face of his watch, what the Professor called “one of those digital thingies.” The display clearly showed Tuesday’s date and the time eight-forty-three.

“It was simple, really,” Professor Carrolton said. Nobody gave a second thought to the statue or even noticed it was gone until that picture appeared in the paper, documenting that the statue was there until Thursday morning. Like I said, people can be led to believe all sorts of things with the right set-up.”

It was only when Professor Carrolton got out to the parking lot that evening that he realized his keys weren’t in his pocket.

—end—

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“By the Light of the Silvery Moon,” shining brightly on Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker, July 27, 2019

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               By The Light Of The Silvery Moon

By Jeff Baker

 

 

Manuel stared at the bulletin board.

“You sure this is right?” he asked.

“Positive,” Alonzo said. “I’ve checked those calculations dozens of times.”

The paper full of figures was tacked over the copy of the old hand-drawn map from fifty years earlier. Photographs of the scientists from long ago surrounded it along with a diagram of the original spacecraft.

“There can’t be that much space in the cities. From what I’ve found, there is probably a city underneath the catacombs beneath the cities we found fifty years ago.”

There had been two big shocks after the first manned Moon landing. First, what they had assumed to be craters were actually dust-covered remnants of cities that pre-dated the ancient civilizations of Earth, the Israeli Empire, the Chinese Kite Explorers, the grand Aqueduct system of the Roman Triumvirate. Second; the catacombs beneath the cities with evidence that the cities had been evacuated, not by some plague or war. South Amerigo had beaten the North to the Moon, but only because the Northerners had been preoccupied with the War their President and Co-President (Buchannan and Douglas) were waging against the natives.

“Catacombs,” Manuel said. “Everyone says the cities were built on top of the older cities. Now…”

“Those cities beneath were built after the ones on the surface,” Alonzo said. “And, if I’m right, it’s where the original inhabitants evacuated to.”

“And they somehow evacuated the Moon from there?” Manuel asked. “And maybe came to Earth?”

“No. At least I don’t think so,” Alonzo said. “I don’t think they ever left. I think they’re still there.”

The two of them stared out the window where the Moon was ascending into the sky, its silver glow illuminating a square of floor.

 

—end—

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’ve had a fascination with ancient empires and cities for a long time and noticing how the rims of Lunar craters resembled buildings made me want to write this story, my way of celebrating the fiftieth anniversary of the Moon landing. ——-j.s.b.

 

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The New Moon rises (ominously) on Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker for July 21, 2019 (way late again!)

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Yesterday, I Saw the New Moon

By Jeff Baker

I was between jobs but I was seriously considering staying in town when things went all fuzzy. I was walking down the sidewalk in a crowd of people when the crowd blurred suddenly. I could see two different crowds of people, one set walking through the other, both of them vague and transparent. I didn’t feel dizzy but I grabbed the nearest thing, the door handle of a diner, and walked in. The diner was bright, the windows big and clear and there were few customers and a man in a chef’s hat arranging things behind the counter. There was a black-and-white T.V. sitting on top of a refrigerator. I sat down at a table and closed my eyes for a moment.

“Whaddya have?” the voice said. I opened my eyes. The cook from behind the counter was standing there.

“Uh, coffee. Black.” I said, pulling a dollar out of my wallet. “That’s all I got,” I lied. Since I’d been on my own, bumming across the country I’d gotten into the habit of keeping all my cash in my shoe, in an envelope under the pad. I had about a hundred bucks from my last job and I was saving it as best I could. I was just glad I looked older than I was. I’d been giving my age as nineteen. That was a few years off. I glanced outside through the window; there seemed to be less people on the street than before. And the blurring transparent effect was gone. I rubbed my eyes. The T.V. had the sound off but they were playing that really short Bicentennial show from a few years ago. They’d played it every night, but wasn’t all that over?

“Hi,” said a high wavering voice. The speaker looked to be about 25 or so, standing by my table wearing a green button-down shirt with a large collar and blue jeans. Nice, I thought.

“Mind if I sit down?” he said. “I think you’re…like me.”

I indicated the seat across from me in the booth. He sat down and grinned.

“I noticed you when you wandered in.” he said. “I’m Ray. Ray Scott.”

“Bryce Going,” I said. We shook hands. His hand felt funny, like touching something when you’ve been shot full of Novocain. “What do you mean, ‘like me?’?”

“The wild side. The other team. The third sex. In the life.” Ray was grinning broader. “But then, you’re not like me too.”

Rather than deny it I asked how he could tell, not “what makes you think that.”

The cook brought my coffee. I sipped. It felt good somehow. Good and normal.

“I can tell,” Ray said. “I mean, now I can. It would have come in handy about nineteen-sixty-nine, let me tell you.” He looked right at me. “You saw two different streets out there, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” I said sipping more of the coffee. “I thought I might be passing out or something.”

“Not passing out, passing through,” Ray said. “You know what a double exposure is?”

“Sure,” I said. I’d taken a Photography class from Mr. Anders in High School. The darkroom had been built to one side of his science classroom, blocking off the windows. I’d made out with a couple of guys in there. “Double exposure is when you print frames from two different negatives on the same photographic paper. If you do it right, you can make someone look like they’re a transparent figure in a real scene, like a…”

“Ghost.” Ray was grinning broader. “Look.”

Ray raised his hand and put it in front of the window. I could see a couple of the buildings through his hand. I sat there and stared for a moment.

“I’m dead.” I said. “I’ve had a lot of weird things happen to me, and now I’m dead.”

“Naaaa! You’re not dead!” Ray said. “But you stumbled into a world of the dead. But you’re alive so you can’t stay. This world will force you out.”

I let out a long breath. “Do I have time for another cup of coffee?”

“Yeah. Maybe two,” Ray said with a laugh. I ordered another coffee.

“So, what happened in sixty-nine?” I asked.

“I picked up this guy at the showers behind the pool one night,” Ray said. “When the pool was closed for the season that was a local pickup joint. We were supposedly going to his place but when we went down this alley two of his buddies jumped me. They beat me up and left me for dead.” He sighed. “Which is how I wound up.” Ray shook his head. “I wish I could still drink coffee.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. What do you say in a situation like that?

“So, enough about me,” Ray said. “What’s your story?”

I told him all about my folks bailing out on me and how I ran rather than be a gay sixteen-year-old in a youth center. Ray listened attentively and then looked right at me.

“Listen; where I’m at right now, time has no real meaning. I can glimpse things. You need to be careful.”

“I know,” I said.

“No,” Ray said. “You don’t. There’s something coming, something bad. It could kill you. You need to take precautions.”

Ray outlined what he could as I drank my coffee. I didn’t quite understand, but I did listen. And afterward, I knew it was time to leave. Ray grinned again and waved as I got up. I looked out the windows; still bright, late-afternoon sunshine. When I walked out the door, it was dark. Early evening I thought. I looked behind me; the diner was closed and shuttered and probably had been for a long time. I saw a crescent Moon on the horizon, and I remembered an old poem I’d read once:

Last night I saw the New Moon

With the Old Moon in her arms

And I fear I fear my Mistress dear

That we shall come to harm.

—end—

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“Reverse Sweep” for Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker, July 13, 2019

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                                                          Reverse Sweep

By Jeff Baker

 

Eli was sitting in the hotel window wearing just a pair of jeans looking buff and tanned.

“Over there,” he said pointing. “I lived there about ten years ago.”

“Yeah?” Mack said.

“Back when I was going to school,” Eli said. “I was doing graduate work but I never finished it.”

“Life takes some funny twists,” Mack said, pouring himself a soda from the small hotel fridge.

“Tell me about it,” Eli said. “I really never expected I’d be back here and, and, oh boy…”

Eli stiffened, suddenly doubled over as if he’d sneezed. When he stood up again, he had long hair and a complete female anatomy.

“This has got to stop,” Eli said. “All the people who are paying money to transition and it happens to me all the time.”

“Yeah,” Mack said. “But I’ll tell you one thing.” He stepped over and kissed Eli. “It sure comes in handy that I’m Bi!”

“Mmmm-Hmmmm!” Eli and Mack kissed again.

“Hey, maybe you should start calling yourself Elinore?”

“Shut up and kiss me!”

 

—end—

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“Invasion of the Saucer Men” by Jeff Baker, for Friday Flash Fics, July 5, 2019

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                                               Invasion of the Saucer-Men

By Jeff Baker

 

“They’re coming,” Greg said. “And we’re the only ones who know it.”

“What do you mean?” Doug asked.

“See that over there? The cloud, looks like a big saucer?”

“Yeah?” Doug said.

“It is a saucer, perfectly camouflaged,” Greg said. “Even the lightning isn’t really lightning. No lightning rod will deflect what they’ve got. And the Army, the Air Force won’t be able to do anything. That thing doesn’t just look like a cloud, it acts like one. Not solid. Planes, bullets, bombs will fly right through it. And we’re right here in the CN Tower. Sitting. Ducks.”

Greg stared out the window. The cloud was getting closer; they could see the flashes of lightning.

“Moooooooooom!!!!!!” Doug yelled. “Greggy’s trying to scare me again!”

And doing a darn good job of it too, Greg thought.

“Honestly!” Mother said from the next table. “We get all dressed up, you too, we treat you like adults, let you sit at your own table at the restaurant and now this. Greg, you quit trying to scare your brother. And Doug, quit yelling. You two are nearly ten and twelve years old for Heaven’s sake! Honestly, if I ever thought…”

Greg sipped his glass of soda and tried not to smile.

 

—end—

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