Blowing Smoke With Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker (May 21, 2021)

                                          Blowing Smoke

                                            By Jeff Baker

            “It looks like smoke,” Jonny Kilbassie said.

            “I know,” Big Dave said. “That’s why they call it the Cigarette Nebula. The wonder of this part of the Galaxy.”

            Big Dave, owner of Big Dave’s Stellar Rentals, is nothing if not persuasive. The Nebula looks like a thin curl of grey smoke frozen in place, hanging against the stars.

            Jonny Kilbassie is not interested in the tourist spiel, he is more practical.

            “How much for a cruiser?” Jonny asks.

            “The big one or the small one?” Big Dave asks.

            “The small one,” Jonny says, on account of how he is trying to save on resources and the smaller cruisers are a lot cheaper. But Jonny Kilbassie is still in need of immediate transportation.

            “You want it with or without the map?” Big Dave asks.

            “The map comes extra?” Jonny says, somewhat perturbed. This is something he has not considered. Every added expense is an added drag. Also, he has a valise of ill-gotten gains from his most recent exploit as well as the knowledge that the authorities as well as the survivors of said exploit will doubtless be looking for him and it is best if Jonny Kilbassie is nowhere around when they find out where he has been.

            “Done.” Jonny says. And with that, Big Dave supplies him with his small cruiser, his star map and a modicum of fuel. With that, Jonny sets off to hide on an out-of-the-way planet on the other side of the Nebula. But what happens to Jonny Kilbassie we only find out from his log book and from the testimony of Big Dave.

            Jonny’s star map is the cheapest one available. It, therefore, does not automatically update without Jonny paying an additional subscriber fee which Jonny is not aware of. The group of planets he is planning to hole-up on do not exist anymore. It is a long trip across the Nebula and there are no available fueling stations.

            This is the story we put together when Jonny and the star cruiser are found floating on the other side of the Cigarette Nebula, both of them cold lumps. He should have opted for a larger cruiser with a bigger fuel tank and an upgraded map, but Big Dave, whose family had been on the losing end of one of Jonny Kilbassie’s earlier ventures. opted not to press him on that.

            As Big Dave says: “The Customer Is Always Right.”

                                         —end—

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Progress Report, May 17, 2021 from Jeff Baker

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

Surprised myself and started a longer short-story when the market dropped into my lap. Deadline’s the end of this month and all I have to do is the middle. Wrote a little on the baseball story I’m aiming at the Saturday Evening Post, and finished the Friday Flash story for last week. Wrote the Friday Flash story for this week, tightened it up and it looks good. I have been actively studying Damon Runyon’s stories about Broadway and his influence made its way into “Blowing Smoke,” which will be posed on Friday. Not influence in the use or “Runyoneese,” but in the plot and themes. I also wrote a line on a poem that popped into my head. The week of May 25th is my fifth anniversary of writing the weekly flashes and (as I am current moderator I have a couple of pics chosen in advance) so I have cheated and wrote out the anniversary story in advance. More on that later.

That’s about it for now.

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To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn. Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker, May 14, 2021.

                                  To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn

                                            By Jeff Baker

            “So, how long has your brother been missing?” she asked.

            He grinned for a moment, it almost sounded like an old radio show.

            “About six months now,” he said.

            “Any word from the police?” she asked.

            “Not yet,” he said. “You ask me, he just bailed on everything. His job, his girlfriend. And I almost don’t blame him.”

            They’d been walking around after getting out of class. Usually they stopped and grabbed a burger or something, but this afternoon they just walked.  

            “My Grandmother used to say that everything happens for a reason,” she said. “And that there’s a natural order to things.”

            “To everything there is a season,” he said. “That’s in the Bible. I heard it out of a jukebox once.” He stopped and faced her.

            “What’s wrong?” she said.

            “I need to tell you something,” he said. “About a month ago I got a letter from my Brother. He’s alive. He’s okay.”

            “A letter? Are you sure he’s okay?” she asked.  “That he wasn’t kidnapped or something?”

            “The letter was in this, this code we developed when we were a kid. Pretending to be the Hardy Boys or something.” He grinned. “That way we could pass notes in school and nobody knew what we were saying. So nobody else could read what he was saying if he was being coerced or something. Well, he’s okay. He ran off with this girl he’s known for years. She’s living in this little town and he’s working for her. He just wanted to get away.”

            He smiled and took her hand. He was glad he told her. And in that moment, he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.    

                                                     —end—      

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Progress Report from Jeff Baker, May 8, 2021.



Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

Got about three flash fictions done as well as two columns. I’m working on yet another column and another Friday Flash Fics story, the one that’s due Friday. I was lamenting that I hadn’t worked on a lot of fiction lately, but I seem to still have the knack. I need to work on a few full-length stories soon.

That’s about it for now.

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Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Flash Fiction Draw Challenge by Jeff Baker for May 2021.

Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com

                                   Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

                                                By Jeff Baker

Author’s Note: The draws for the May Flash Fiction Draw Challenge (thank you Jeff Ricker!) were a Science Fiction story set in an auditorium involving a tablet computer.

            Third-period class was dull, especially in the auditorium.

            Kennir shifted in her seat, the big old theater kind, one of a whole row of seats “joined together practically at the hip,” her girlfriend Zilthias had said. But it was the only available building in the decades old school, and the trick was not to fall asleep when the teacher was droning on.

            “Okay,” Mrs. Dache   said. “I see some of you are ready to fall asleep.”

            Laughter from the class of about fourteen tenth-graders.

            “Look around at this theater, how many of you know how old it is?”

            Several students raised their hands, someone called out “Fifty.”

            Someone else called out “Seventy-Five.”

            “Seventy-Five years ago, right,” Mrs. Dache said. “Anybody know why? Why colonists on a strange planet would put up a theater?”

            “’Cause they were building a school,” a kid in the front row said.

            “That’s a good guess, but no. They didn’t build the school until later. The theater came first,” said Mrs. Dache.

            She pulled a flat screen out of her bag which she’d set on the stage.

            “Who knows what this is?”

            A couple of the kids laughed. Somebody shouted out something obscene.

            “No, it’s a revulator!” another kid called out.

            “Nope! Screen’s too big. Anybody else?”  Mrs. Dache asked.

            Kennir raised her hand.

            “That’s a third-generation tablet,” she said. “My grandmother has an old one she brought from Earth.” That was a little surprising, considering that the colonists only brought a few things, mostly practical ones. Not a telecomputer that was almost a hundred years old and probably could barely pick up the phone signals that had only been set up a decade earlier.

            “Yes, it looks like one, but this is new,” Mrs. Dache said. “Watch.”      

            She tapped a couple of things and the screen came to life. The picture was blurry and green-tinted but she held up the tablet and the class could just see the video: construction crews working on scaffolding.

            “This is video footage of the construction of this auditorium,” she said.

            “Where’d they download it from?” Alix asked. He was always looking at available videos, to the extent that teachers went to him with questions sometimes. He knew all the historical footage on the planet. Not bad for a sixteen-year old.

            “That’s the big news,” Mrs. Dache said smiling. “This was transmitted to us through a satellite link from an archive in a system about five light years away from us, in the opposite direction of the Earth. It’s started. The colonization of this part of the galaxy. After a century, we are no longer isolated. What this means is your futures will not be limited to this world, they will be infinite. You want to go to college or get extra technical training after high school, now you can.”

            There was commotion for a few minutes as the future and all their dreams rose before them.

                                  —end—

                                           —–for Ashton. My nephew the Graduate.

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Alexandria Or Bust! Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker for May 7, 2021

                                                 Alexandria or Bust!

                                                      By Jeff Baker

                                                 

            There was nothing unusual about a lighthouse on the Carolina coast, but this one hadn’t been operational for a long time. And it wasn’t built quite like any of the others.

            The hurricane had uncovered this stretch of cove. The green sea-plants somehow looked like grass that had been growing on an untouched beach, but there were hints that things were extraordinary. The two men stood there and stared at the structure.

            “You’re absolutely sure about this?” Murray asked.

            “Yes,” said Professor Martinez. “I’ve checked and double checked. This lighthouse is of Mediterranean construction, the style and age of the stone date it to be almost three thousand years old.”

            “An ancient Greek lighthouse in North Carolina,” Murray shook his head. “But why?”

            “We may never know,” Professor Martinez said. “But I would guess this was the beginning of a colonization effort.”

            “From Greece?” Murray asked.

            “Why not?” Professor Martinez said with a smile. “We know the Ancient Chinese made it to the West Coast. The Greeks were one of the great intellectual and seafaring civilizations of the ancient world. They might have tried to spread their empire across an ocean.”

            “So, where are the ruins of the temples?” Murray asked.

            “My guess is they never had the time to build them. Maybe they built the lighthouse and left. Maybe something happened.” The Professor sighed.

            “We may never know,” Murray said.

            The Professor was eyeing the lighthouse intently. It was the size of a four story building. They had measured it, outside and in…

            “Come with me,” the Professor said suddenly. Murray followed him to the lighthouse, through the sealed door, into the interior which they had drained of water.

            “I should have noticed it before,” the Professor said. “The inside of this lighthouse is not as tall as the outside. The base is bigger than it ought to be. There is something under here. He stamped his foot. There was a hollow sound.

            “A chamber!” Murray breathed. “Hidden for millennia!”

            “Maybe before the left they wrote an account of their visit and left it for future colonists before they returned…where? Sparta? Athens? Alexandria?”

            The sunlight glistened on the lighthouse as it must have on the Lighthouse that had guarded the harbor of Alexandria for scant decades all those centuries ago.

                                           —end—

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Progress Report; May 4, 2021 from Jeff Baker.

Photo by Andrea Albanese on Pexels.com

Not a lot to report: Worked on a blog post (I’m doing three blogs counting this one!!!) And wrote a few lines on a mystery/crime story I’ve been improvising now and then since I was between jobs in the summer of 2018. Hadn’t looked at it in a while; for a bit I was at least adding a line every night. Yes, it’s set in Ancient Rome.

That’s about it for now!

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Meet the Housewife Of the Year for Friday Flash Fics (April 30, 2021) by Jeff Baker

                                    Housewife of the Year

                                         By Jeff Baker

                                         

            “Me? Housewife Of the Year? Oh, my word! I mean, I never expected! Why yes, I read Suburb and Garden Magazine every month but I never expected to find your reporters right at my door! What? Verification? Oh, yes. I sent in the entry form three months ago. Yes, my husband and I have lived here for ten years. Been married fifteen years. We met because his college roommate wanted to date me and asked my future husband if I wanted to go out. Oh, but I don’t think I’m Housewife of the Year material. Oh, you want to take my picture? Now? Here? Oh, I can send you one? Oh, good. This face just doesn’t do well in the morning. What? Oh, seventeen years ago. That was when we first met when he was studying at the university; he had these ideas of transferring the brains from one living being into another. I was his test subject. No, I don’t know where he found the gorilla. What’s that? Why didn’t he put me back the way I was? Well, his roommate ran off with the gorilla that looks like me now but I guess still acts like a gorilla. Well, some men like that. Children? No, we decided against having kids. We have each other and that’s enough. And this nice little house, it’s so much better than that dank old dungeon laboratory we used to have. You want to see the garden? Oh, that’s why you brought the camera. Yes, the flowers are lovely this time of year. And now that I’m a gorilla I can carry those big bags of…where? Oh, second door on the left. Yes. And when we’re all done could I interest you in a banana?”

                                                    —end—

            AUTHOR’S NOTE: There was a writer for the horror magazines in the 20s or 30s who only had one plot: Mad scientist transfers girl’s brain into body of a gorilla. I always wanted to do a riff on that one! —–jsb

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Progress Report, April 28, 2021 from Jeff Baker.

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

Last couple of weeks, did two of the flash fiction stories (including this weeks which I finished a few minutes ago) piddled around on an idea or two and read some Damon Runyon, or rather; studied some Damon Runyon. Hopefully not to imitate but to get something out of his storytelling skill as well as how he treated his subject. And I worked on two full-length stories. Did about a page on one which I just started and a few lines on the other which I re-wrote the opening of last year. Probably have to re-write some of the one as they are both very similar.

Thank you Damon Runyon.

That’s about it for now.

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Quickly Dream Away the Time; Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker for April 23, 2021

                                Quickly Dream Away the Time

                                              By Jeff Baker

            The hospital was dark and quiet except for the occasional muffled voice over the intercom. And Eddie knew the nurse’s station and the area downstairs were lit bright as day. He rolled over in the hospital bed; he wasn’t sleepy.

            He heard a noise. The door opening slowly. He knew it wasn’t one of the nurses; they usually opened the door and blew in like a confident wind.

            “Pssst!” came the small voice. “Eddie, you up? It’s me, Zach.”

            Zach was ten; he was in the room across the hall. Eddie was eleven.

            “Yeah,” Eddie said.

            “Can I stay in here with you?” Zach asked.

            “Sure.”

            Zach climbed onto the foot of the bed. They were both lucky to have rooms to themselves. Eddie’s roommate had gone home the day Eddie had checked into the hospital.

            “What you doing?” Zach asked.

            “Trying to sleep,” Eddie said.

            “I can’t sleep,” Zach said. “That thing could get me.”

            “That thing in that movie. That IT.” Zach said.

            “That thing’s not real,” Eddie said.

            “Yeah it is!” Zach insisted.

            Eddie glanced over at his watch on the table.

            “Yeah,” Eddie said. “But that’s not the real IT.” He grabbed the TV remote. “Watch this.”

            The TV clicked on. Eddie switched it to an old black-and-white show with tinny music in the background.

            “There,” Eddie said, pointing at the screen. “That’s the real ITT. He’s not scary.”

            On the screen, a medium sized lump of blond hair in a derby and dark glasses twirled a cane like Charlie Chaplin. Zach laughed.

            The two of them sat in the flickering gray light and laughed away the next half-hour.

                                                —end—

                                                                                —for Felix Silla

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