“And Now, Folks, It’s Sock-It-To-Me-Time” (Almost!) Laugh-In’s First episode—–recalled by Jeff Baker, November 4th, 2022.

“And Now Folks, It’s Sock It To Me Time! (Almost!)”

by Jeff Baker

The first official episode of “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” aired on NBC on January 22, 1968. Airing just a few months after the pilot was shown in September 1967, it is a marked improvement. While the pilot was (and still is) genuinely funny the first series episode has tightened up the pacing and added a few features that would become nationally known over the next few years.

The pacing is noticeably faster, and the sketches reduced mostly to blackouts and one-liners. The regular features. Like the Laugh-In News and the Party (with lines like: “George is so square he thinks Planned Parenthood is living with his mother.”) are established in their largely final forms.

The cast for the first few seasons is established, the notable addition is announcer Gary Owens. Owens and Ruth Buzzi would stick with the show through all six seasons and appear in almost every episode. Only Dan and Dick would be in every show plus the pilot. And besides doing their nightclub routines and introducing segments, they are adept at playing various characters, something they didn’t get a lot of credit for during the show’s run.

The blackout segments, quickie gags that play like a magazine cartoon, are the bulk of the show and many are still laugh out loud funny today: a recurring bit with Dick as a passenger in an elevator. Several funny moments involving doors and Judy Carne trying to play ping-pong with varying degrees of success. Many of these are done with no dialogue. Tapping a vein Ernie Kovacs mined and that Benny Hill would later tap into.

(In one of the show’s few serious moments, they would pay tribute to Kovacs and acknowledge his influence in a later episode.)

The major topical sketch, involving L.B.J. in bed as family and pols join him to talk about their problems wasn’t as funny as it may have been once, but the Laugh-In News still had some bite, particularly the “News of the Future,” which was introduced as “twenty years from now” but was actually for 1984.

Guests included Flip Wilson and cameos by Leo G. Carroll (referencing his recently-canceled “Man From UNCLE” which Laugh-in” had replaced.)

Dan uses the phrase “fickle finger of fate” even though they do not give out or reference the award they would later actually present to the recipients like the Pentagon (which won several!) The Fickle Finger of Fate fanfare is heard later in the show introducing a salute to The Establishment.

This episode has “Sock It To ‘Em Time,” they would change the phrase later, but semi-regular Barbara Feldon and guest Carroll become the first on the show to utter the famous “Sock it to me” line. Carroll’s presages Nixon’s upcoming cameo and his astounded “Sock it to Me?!”

This episode may be the only one to present a real musical act in its “New Talent” segment. The band Strawberry Alarm Clock was featured in what would later become a music video and would have fit perfectly on MTV. The other act, a solo, was a literally unknown singer whose freakish appearance and falsetto voice was probably regarded as a joke by the producers, but the joke was on them: Tiny Tim was a hit and would become as associated with the show as Rowan and Martin and the publicity may have helped with the show’s success.

January 1968 was the beginning of what would be a singularly unfunny year but somehow Laugh-In would give the country reasons to laugh through the months ahead. And a lot of their humor still holds up.

You bet your sweet bippy!

—end—

Posted in Non-Fiction, Reviews, Television | Leave a comment

Reading for Halloween: A Treasury of American Horror Stories. Jeff Baker, October 30, 2022.

A Treasury of Terror

by Jeff Baker

Every year around Halloween I post something involving a selection of spooky tales for the season of Jack O’Lanterns and soaring witches. This year, something different; an entire anthology. In fact, an influential one, at least to me.

1988 was not a great year for me. I lost friends and family and was screwed-over on a promotion I’d been working for over the course of a year. I can count the good things that happened to me that year on less than one hand. One of them was I grabbed an anthology of horror stories in the library and sat down to read it one afternoon, simply because I had gotten curious about some of the writers used on the old Rod Serling’s Night Gallery” TV show, in particular H. P. Lovecraft.

I struck gold.

“A Treasury of American Horror Stories” published by Bonanza Books in 1985, edited by Martin H. Greenberg, Charles G. Waugh and Frank D. McSherry, Jr. features fifty-one short horror stories, one for every state in the union, plus Washington D. C. A variety of styles ranging from humor, psychological horror and supernatural tales involving monsters, ghosts, lunatics and the indescribable or generally undefinable.

The authors range from Manly Wade Wellman and Robert Bloch through Mark Twain, Jack London and Isaac Asimov. Lovecraft and King are represented, of course, as well as neglected authors like Robert Arthur.

The selections for the various states are interesting: Lovecraft’s stories are set in Massachusetts and Rhode Island; Robert Louis Stevenson’s “The Isle of Voices” is set near Hawaii and North Carolina is the province of Manly Wade Wellman.

Some choices are naturals: the Wisconsin story is by Wisconsin native August Derleth, but Stephen King, oddly enough, does not represent Maine. (His “Children of the Corn” is a fine choice for a story for Nebraska.)

Besides the Lovecraft stories (“Haunter of the Dark” and “Pickman’s Model”) the stories that impressed me the most were “The Autopsy” by Michael Shea and “The Return to the Sabbath” by Robert Bloch. Reading the book on those air conditioned afternoons so long ago inspired me to try writing my own horror stories.

The stories in the book still hold up and the anthology is not too hard to find in libraries in used stores or online. Perfect reading for Halloween, or any time of year.

The Amazon link to the book is here: https://www.amazon.com/Treasury-American-Horror-Stories/dp/0517480751/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1M5S54161IHYK&keywords=a+treasury+of+american+horror+stories&qid=1667115201&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjAwIiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&s=books&sprefix=A+Treasury+of+American+Horror+Stories%2Cstripbooks%2C101&sr=1-1

Posted in Anthologies, August Derleth, Books, Edward D. Hoch, Fantasy, Fiction, Ghost Story, H. P. Lovecraft,, Horror, Jack London, Manly Wade Wellman, Robert Arthur, Robert Bloch, Short-Stories, Stephen Vincent Benet | Leave a comment

A Rainbow Snippets Halloween: “The Moon on the Breast of the New-Fallen Snow” by Jeff Baker (October 29, 2022)

Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com

Every week we post six lines from a work of ours, a work-in-progress or published or a recommendation of someone else’s work with at least one LGBT character. Posted at Rainbow Snippets here: [LINK]

This week, an exciting preview of a story I haven’t been able to sel…I mean, a hitherto unpublished story of mine. The gay protagonist of “The Moon on the Breast of the New-Fallen Snow” mirrors what happened to an out Gay College friend of mine who moved out of the dorm because of some harassment (somebody smashed a melon and some other fruit against his door.

He moves in with Merle, a platonic friend, in Merle’s off-campus apartment and things get a little weird. Okay, a LOT weird.(Oh, and the club he mentions was a real place back in the 1980s.)

Maybe nothing would have happened if we hadn’t held the New Year’s Eve party, nothing big, just a few friends from school who had no place else to go. I knew Travis from my one journalism class and Chris, I think, had a thing for Merle. As a matter of fact I had met Merle for the first time when Travis and Chris had dragged me to Fantasy, the big gay club in town. Travis and Chris were out, I mean really out, I was kind of out. A few days later I saw Merle on campus and we struck up a conversation and the friendship kept going. And we both agreed that Chris could be a pest who acted like he was about thirteen years old.

Here’s the aftermath of the party: after he sees something very strange in the moonlight:

In the morning I found Travis and Chris asleep under a blanket on the floor. I checked the fridge for milk and wondered if Merle ever stocked the fridge with raw meat to eat after he changed. Not for one minute did I think I’d imagined it. Especially after the wary glance Merle gave me when he came out of his bedroom. Neither of us had to work that day so we grabbed some more beer when we dropped Chris and Travis off. Then we sat down and I flat out asked him about his being a werewolf.

So, how does that grab you?

Thanks for reading and Happy Halloween! —–jeff

Posted in Fantasy, Fiction, Horror, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets, Werewolves | 4 Comments

My Latest Poem on the RoM/Mantic Reads e-zine: Halloween 2020 from Jeff Baker. October 28, 2022.

Fiona Glass has done me the kindness of saying some very nice things about my Halloween poem “Halloween 2020” which is up now on RoM/Mantic Reads. It’s spooky in a different way.

Here’s the link: https://rommanticreads.wordpress.com/2022/10/28/jeff-baker-halloween-2020/#respond

Posted in Poetry, Promo, RoM/Mantic Reads | Leave a comment

“The Werewolf Who Came to Dinner.” Happy Halloween from Friday Flash Fics and Jeff Baker. October 28, 2022.

The Werewolf Who Came to Dinner

by Jeff Baker

Lonnie Magruder grinned at the big, carved pumpkin and pulled his jacket around him in the dark.

“How long has it been since we went Trick-Or-Treating, anyway?”

That was George Gordy, Lonnie’s best friend. The two of them were walking down the street from the houses they’d grown up in. Now they were in college.

“Probably sixth grade,” Lonnie said. He was the taller of the two with brown hair. “A million years ago.”

“And when’s the last time we went to a Halloween party?” George asked with a grin. He was shorter, a little chubbier with reddish-blonde hair.

“Together? Mmmmmmmm, probably Junior High. The one at the old Community Center.”

“Too bad you can’t pull off the same costume you did then!” George said laughing. “You got third prize as the Wolfman.”

“Yeah, just they didn’t know it was real!” Lonnie said. “Moon’s waning, so it isn’t gonna make me grow any extra hair tonight. Besides it won’t rise till a lot later.”

“You’ve still got Moonrise and Moonset pretty memorized, huh?” George said.

“Yup. Since I was a kid.” Lonnie said. “Used to have it hung in my room and taped to the folks’ refrigerator. Now, I got it on my phone.”

“I’m just amazed nobody else found out,” George said.

“Long as I shave and stay away from social functions when the Moon’s full.” He laughed. “But I crashed this Halloween birthday party a couple of years ago. Necked with this girl in the garden as the Moon came up and I grew a bunch of hair. She thought it was cool!”

Lonnie stopped for a minute.

“You know, it just hit me…I may have been named after Lon Chaney!” Lonnie said.

“You’ll have to ask your folks!” George said.

The Werewolf gene had skipped a generation and was fairly diluted by the time it got to Lonnie. His Dad wasn’t affected but Lonnie’s Grandmother had actually turned into a wolf when the Moon was full. They had a picture of Lonnie’s Granddad sitting happily in an overstuffed chair, what looked like a big dog happily curled at his feet. A bit chauvinistic but very sweet.

“Speaking of necking, how are we gonna do this?” George asked.

“Play it cool, ‘bro.” Lonnie said. “I’ll just be happy with a couple of glasses of punch and a sandwich.”

“No beer?” George said prankishly. “You know, Silver Bullet?”

“Not funny,” Lonnie said with a smile. “No, after the long week I’ve had I just want to kick back.”

A couple of kids dashed past them in costume carrying bags.

“Remember when we used to do that?” George said.

“When everybody used to do that,” Lonnie said. “Before most of it went to the mall or something.”

“Remember malls?” George said.”

“Yeah, but we’re old.” Lonnie said.

The house was around the corner, big with a lit pumpkin on the porch and an open door, promising a calm evening for old friends and kids of old friends.

“Hey, Happy Halloween!” George said.

“Yeah,” Lonnie said with a grin. Then he threw back his head and let out a howl.

The two young men laughed as they headed up the porch steps past the glowing pumpkin.

—end—

Posted in Fantasy, Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Halloween, Lonnie Magruder, Moon, Short-Stories, Werewolves | 2 Comments

“Sixteen Things I Learned…” Rainbow Snippets for October 23, 2022 from Jeff Baker.

Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com

Rainbow Snippet October 22, 2022

Every week we post six lines from a work of ours, a work-in-progress or published, or a recommendation of someone else’s work with at least one LGBT character. Posted at Rainbow Snippets here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

It’s actually cooling down here this week, so here’s a story I wrote in the heat of the summer a couple of months ago. A flat-out homage to one of my favorite fantasy writers—can you guess which one? Here’s a link to my original story: https://authorjeffbaker.com/2022/08/26/sixteen-things-i-learned-during-the-big-heat-wave-cool-off-with-friday-flash-fics-for-august-26-2022-by-jeff-baker/ I did this story in the form of a list, by the way, and called it “Sixteen Things I Learned During the Big Heat Wave.”

8.) Sometimes, when you haul a can of gasoline upstairs to the Spanish doctor guy your Aunt rents the room to, you find he’s kind of hot, too.

9.) Some people are crazy enough to have their own gas-powered air-conditioner in their room to keep their room really, really cool. But sane enough to pipe the exhaust outside.

12) Be honest about your inability to fix a broken air-conditioner, especially a jury-rigged air-conditioner with the guy in the bathroom swearing in Spanish.

13.) When your Aunt offers you money to go get a lot of ice, say yes.

14.) Strange doctor disappears from your Aunt’s apartment, play dumb when the police come over.

That’s it for this week! Stay cool!

——jeff

Posted in H. P. Lovecraft,, Rainbow Snippets | 2 Comments

New Spooky Story in “RoM/Mantic Reads” from Jeff Baker. (October 22, 2022.)

Just in time for Halloween (or maybe The Day of the Dead!) my story “Billy Gonzalez and the Day of the Dead” has been posted in RoM/Mantic Reads!

Here’s the link! Happy Reading!https://rommanticreads.wordpress.com/2022/10/22/jeff-baker-billy-gonzalez-and-the-day-of-the-dead/

Posted in Billy Gonzalez, LGBT, RoM/Mantic Reads, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

Ride in “The Woodie” for Friday Flash Fics. October 21, 2022 by Jeff Baker.

The Woodie

by Jeff Baker

The world went haywire just before the game was supposed to start.

I’d won the tickets and had driven all night from Albuquerque, sleeping in my old Woodie station wagon and was sitting in the upper deck at Candlestick there in San Francisco waiting for Game Three of the World Series to start. I’d just lost my job and didn’t have a lot to loose. Besides, my Mom’s Uncle had played for both teams a century ago when they’d been on the East Coast. The Philadelphia Athletics they’d been called back then. Now, the Giants were playing there in San Francisco and the Oakland A’s were just across the Bay.

Sleeping in the back of the Woodie wasn’t a bad deal. And I’d gotten a prime seat and could see the whole field.

I was shooting the breeze with a couple of guys in our section when I heard and felt the rumble like a bunch of people were stomping their feet on the floor of the upper deck. I looked around and was going to say something when I noticed the shaking and the swaying of some of the lights across the stadium. About that time, the message board displayed gibberish and then went blank.

Behind me, somebody yelled “Earthquake!”

Do tell, I thought.

It wasn’t even a minute when the shaking subsided and a big cheer went up from the crowd.

“This may not be anything to cheer about,” the guy sitting next to me said. He’d told me his name was Mitchell.

A few minutes later I got what he meant. They canceled the game and told everybody to leave “in a calm, orderly fashion.”

While we were waiting to get out of the stadium, the guy pointed up toward the top of the stadium.

“See?” He said. “I knew that felt pretty bad.”

There was smoke rising from beyond the stadium. Ar first I thought it was in the parking lot, but no.

We finally made it out to the parking lot and my Woodie. I remembered he’d said something about springing for a cab to the stadium, so I asked Mitchell if he needed a lift home.

“Sure,” he said. “Do you usually give rides to total strangers during earthquakes?”

“Only in October,” I said with a grin.

“I live a ways away from here,” he said. “Where are you staying in town?”

“Right here,” I said patting the Woodie. “I kind of bailed from everything to come here. No job anymore so I said what the hey?”

“I live over in Fremont,” Mitchell said. “You really want to drive that far?”

“I got no place else to go,” I said with a shrug.

It might not have been the smartest thing to do, driving someone I’d just met home but this was no ordinary night. While we waited to get out of the parking lot, we listened to the radio and heard more about the damage citywide and in Oakland. Bridges collapsed. People killed.

Needless to say, we stuck to the regular roads.

We saw a lot that night. Buildings in rubble, power out all over. People getting around using flashlights. A civilian, not a cop, directing traffic at an intersection where the lights were off and people following his instructions. People helping people like it was one big neighborhood.

We stopped to help a few places ourselves.

We did a lot of talking on the trip in the Woodie. A lot.

It was around One-thirty in the morning and dark when we arrived at Mitchell’s apartment. At least the lights were on in Fremont.

“Just let me stay out here in the parking lot,” I said.

“Parking lot, nothing!” Mitchell said. “I got a couch and some extra pillows. And a blanket.”

I nodded smiling.

He unlocked the apartment door, turned around and looked into my eyes. I came this close to kissing him.

I stayed on the couch that night. He slept in his bedroom.

But I did wind up staying in Fremont.

I guess that’s one way to meet a boyfriend!

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The October 17, 1989 earthquake hit the Bay Area during game three of the World Series. The casualty list would have been a lot longer if people hadn’t been home watching the game or at the stadium instead of on the streets. My thanks to my friends who have shared their memories of that day. This story is for you.

Posted in Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, LGBT, Short-Stories | 2 Comments

Some RoM/Mantic Reads for Halloween. Jeff Baker, October 19, 2022.

RoM/Mantic Reads, the new e-zine I am among the contributors to, is celebrating Halloween in a nifty way.

Through the next few weeks, several of us will be posting “stories, poems, bits and bobs” for the Halloween season.

Starting things off is a very cool poem by the fine writer Kaje Harper titled “Halloween.”

Upcoming bits will include a poem by me and other stories and the like to help us appreciate the orangeish dark of the season. https://rommanticreads.wordpress.com/2022/10/18/kaje-harper-halloween/

Posted in Halloween, LGBT, Promo, RoM/Mantic Reads | Leave a comment

Open Up a Book of Blood. Rainbow Snippets for October 15, 2022 visits Clive Barker in Yugoslavia—-Jeff Baker

Photo by Loubna Belmekki on Pexels.com

Every week we post six lines from a work of ours, a work-in-progress or published, or a recommendation of someone else’s work with at least one LGBT character. Posted at Rainbow Snippets here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974. For this week, a story by the great Clive Barker, back when he was a young master of darkness. In fact I first read this story in Dennis Etchison’s fine anthology “Masters of Darkness” where horror writers select a story of their own they regard as special. Barker selected his “In the Hills, the Cities” which he said his editors hadn’t liked but he did.

So do I.

It wasn’t until the first week of the Yugoslavian trip that Mick discovered what a political bigot he’d chosen as a lover. Certainly he’d been warned. One of the queens at the baths had told him that Judd was to the right of Attila the Hun, but the man had been one of Judd’s ex-affairs, and Mick had presumed there was more spite than perception in the character assassination.

If only he’d listened. Then he wouldn’t be driving along an interminable road in a Volkswagen that suddenly seemed the size of a coffin, listening to Judd’s views on Soviet expansionism. Jesus, he was so boring.

Sounds pretty contemporary, doesn’t it? Here’s a little more of the story (stretching that line limit a bit)

It was not until their trip—that endless, motiveless caravan through the graveyards of mid-European culture—that Judd realized what a political lightweight he had in Mick. The guy showed precious little interest in the economics or the politics of the countries they passed through. He registered indifference to the full facts behind the Italian situation and yawned, yes yawned, when Judd tried (and failed) to debate the Russian threat to world peace. He had to face the bitter truth: Mick was a queen, there was no other word for him. All right, perhaps he didn’t mince or wear jewelry to excess, but he was a queen nevertheless, happy to wallow in a dreamworld of early Renaissance frescoes and Yugoslavian icons. The complexities, the contradictions, even the agonies that made those cultures blossom and wither were just tiresome to him. His mind was no deeper than his looks; he was a well-groomed nobody.

Some honeymoon.

Again, sounds pretty contemporary for a story from 1984, doesn’t it? I’ll be back next week! See you then!——jeff

Here’s a link to Barker’s “Books of Blood,” where the story first appeared. https://www.amazon.com/Books-Blood-Vols-Clive-Barker/dp/0425165582?asin=0425165582&revisionId=&format=4&depth=1

Here’s a link to volume 3 of “Masters of Darkness,” which I also highly recommend. https://www.amazon.com/Masters-Darkness-III-Clive-Barker/dp/0812517660/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2DE5S7SDWJSIC&keywords=masters+of+darkness&qid=1665889622&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjQ4IiwicXNhIjoiMC45MiIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&s=books&sprefix=Masters+of+Darkness%2Cstripbooks%2C92&sr=1-4

Posted in Clive Barker, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets | 6 Comments