The Infernal Machine
By Jeff Baker
July 25, 2376
To: Oblivion Co. Head Office
From: Riley Arbuthnot
R.E.: Capuchin Asteroid.
Dear Mr. Baden-Baden:
Made it to the Capuchin Asteroid and it is HUGE! Artificial atmosphere just like Earth. Found the welder’s shop, the only one on the planet. Presented him with his shipment: 1 (one) case of surplus “soldier’s arms,” defined as “munition-projecting weapons, outdated sometime in the last century.”
Slight problem. The customer ordered 1 (one) case of soldering irons.
Clerical error. Please send correct shipment.
Also, please send tow ship for my delivery cruiser, which is in several large pieces, thanks to the crew at the welder’s shop who were really needing those soldering irons. Have them pick me up; I am on nearby Dubuque Asteroid. I will be at the snack bar.
P.S.: Might we discuss a raise?
——–for Mr. Upson and Mr. Botts