Baby, If You’ve Ever Wondered

by Jeff Baker

Okay. I’ll just sit you down here. Gotta love these baby carriers. Got you right here on this old kitchen table. Don’t worry, it’s as sturdy as this house and maybe about as old! Don’t look at me like that, I’m not going to cook you. Your Dad and my big sister watch too many horror movies! What do you…oh, oh. Got your bottle right here. Yeah, there you go. Can you hold it? Okay, laying it down you can kind of hold it. Oooo, you were hungry, weren’t you? I gotta check the turkey.

Where’s the thermometer? I set that aside last night? I…oh, there it is. Hang on, I gotta open the oven door. Sloooooowly, this thing creaks. Don’t want to wake up the rest of the house. There. Now, I just pull this out. Oops! Better grab an oven mitt! My screams would wake up Mom and your folks. And you’d probably laugh.

Okay. There. Now, pull off the foil and thhhheeeeerrrrrre’s the turkey! Doesn’t that look good? And smell that? Yummm! Just stick the thermometer in right here and check the temperature…mmmmmm. Okay, I wrote it down here, uhhhhh, cook until it’s…yeah that’s okay. Now check here annnnnnd. Yes. Doin’ good. Cover it up, where’d I put that foil? Oh there it is.

You know, I remember your Granddad showing me how to do this. He used to cook the turkey overnight, just like this. I remember when I was a little kid. You woulda liked him, I think. Yeah, when I was a kid we ate around this table a lot. It’s still kinda scuffed up in a few places. And you’ll like your Uncle Enrico when I get him out here. He had to work on Thanksgiving. I’m just glad your Grandma and your folks are okay with it. Wow. I haven’t been back to this house in over a year. Live too far away. This house is about a hundred-and-twenty years old, I’m twenty seven and you’re about…oh, seven months? Something like that.

You know, you’re named after me? Your middle name anyway. Kristoff. I go by Chris anyway. I, well we, were named after our Great-Grandfather. Okay, my Great-Grandfather, your Great-Great-Grandfather. And you were named after your Uncle Chris. Yeah.

You finished with your bott…oh. You’re asleep. Good. Not the first guy I’ve bored into unconsciousness. I’ll just take you, umpf! Into the living room, set you down and kick back in Dad’s old chair and look through yesterday’s paper. Where’s the sports section? Oh, there it is. I can’t find anything anymore. Must be gettin’ old.

—end—

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! From all of us at Friday Flash Fics! Taking a break for Thanksgiving week! I’ll post a prompt pic for December 2nd next week! ——jeff