The Well-Lit Room: A Much-Delayed Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker (April 15, 2022)

The Well-Lit Room

By Jeff Baker

Most of the time I don’t spend my time peeping through keyholes. Mainly because most people who hire a private eye in the 21st Century like me, Andrew Navarro, don’t have doors with keyholes. In fact the last few clients I’ve had you needed a keycard not a key to open a door.

And most of my cases don’t involve ghosts.

My latest client named (so help me) Eggbert Walton, had offices in a renovated Victorian house, that had originally been built for a wealthy family and I guess had been pretty ritzy and modern in its day. Now it looked like the Addams Family lived there. The client had been getting odd calls from friends who’d been driving by late at night when the office was closed and had seen a light on in the top floor. He gave me the grand tour during the day and I made sure that there was no awning covering a porch that someone could have used to climb into the office window on the second floor.

Mr. Walton gave me the key so I could enter the building after dark. It wasn’t the first time I’d had to take a long nap during the day to prepare for surveillance at night, but something about this one made me uneasy. He rented the room at the end of top floor and so I sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor outside the room in the hallway. The doors were old and solid, all painted a dull gray. The doors all had old-fashioned knobs above an old keyhole you could peep through, but each door had a modern deadbolt as well. In the dim light of summer dusk I could make out the name on the door: E. G. Walton.

From where I was sitting, I could see the big old staircase leading downstairs at the end of the hallway. Trying not to doze, feeling the floorboards beneath the carpet.

I could hear the bells from the old clock tower at the nearby University, a building that must have been built when this old house was new. I sat there and counted the strikes of the clock from nine o’clock on.

Against all my plans, I dozed.

I woke, just in time to hear the tower bell chime what Dickens called “a deep, dull, melancholy ONE.” But that wasn’t what had awakened me.

There was a light streaming through the old keyhole. A ghostly blue light.

I was wide awake. I crept over to the door and, for the first time in my professional career I peered through the keyhole.

I could see a good slice of the room. The window, half of the old-fashioned wooden desk, and a round shape silhouetted in an eerie blue glow.

The shape moved slightly from side to side.

I wasn’t breathing.

I stood up, very carefully and quietly in the deathly still dark hallway.

I could get a better angle through the keyhole. There was a skinny young black kid, huge Afro (the kind I’d seen on kids in my older brother’s High School yearbook) sitting on the floor, tapping quietly on a laptop. I reached in my pocket for the key to the office door and very carefully, very carefully, very slowly inserted the key into the lock over the old doorknob and keyhole and carefully turned it. It felt like twenty minutes before the key turned and the lock opened as silently as possible.

I realized I had no choice but to open the door fast. The ancient knob was going to make noise.

In the instant that I banged the door I realized this kid might have a gun. He looked up shocked. He was working on a small laptop plugged into a strip beside the desk.

The rest of the story is quickly told. The kid’s name was Keenan, he lived down the street, he’d bought a secondhand laptop for school but he couldn’t get internet at his house “Since the new radio station opened up next door,” so he found this place.

I asked him why he didn’t just use it outside, he said because “outside doesn’t have a plug.”

I asked him how he got in the office, nobody could climb in and he laughed.

“Just a matter of shimmying up the drainpipe on the other side of the corner and stepping over to the window ledge.”

A very thin ledge.

“And the window pulls open form the outside.” Keenan said.

Mr. Walton had assured me that the building was secure. He’d be interested in knowing that it wasn’t.

I wasn’t a cop, but I searched Keenan. No sign that he’d taken anything. He showed me the pictures of himself on the laptop. It was his. I’d done a bunch of crazy things when I was a kid.

I sighed. I told Keenan I’d talk to Mr. Walton. I did have Keenan’s address and he would be more than grateful to learn about the window. It’d be up to him on whether to press charges or not.

As I watched Keenan walk down the street, I thought of the instant before I peeped through the ghostly glow of the keyhole, not knowing what I’d see, when more words from Dickens ran through my head:

“He knew that nothing short of a baby or a rhinoceros would surprise him.”

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I started this story from the picture prompt which first appeared on the old Monday Flash Fics site in January 2018. A man looking through a lit keyhole in a darkened room. I didn’t finish it, possibly because I didn’t have a handle on the character. (Or the plot!) And possibly because I was doing a couple of other stories that week. So I dug it (and the pic) out of mothballs and decided to give it a go. Oh, and the lines from Dickens are from “A Christmas Carol.”

Happy Passover and Easter, Everybody! ——jeff & darryl

Posted in Andrew Navarro, Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, LGBT, Mystery | Leave a comment

April 2022 Flash Fiction Draw Challenge—The Results!!! (from Jeff Baker)

As you can see from the cards, I’m the current moderator for the Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, which was started by ‘Nathan Burgoine a few years ago and carried on by Cait Gordon and Jeffrey Ricker. It’s a monthly writing challenge mainly for stress-free fun that anyone can play.

Here’s how it works: The first Monday of each month I draw three cards, a club, a heart and a diamond. These correspond to a list naming a genre, a setting and an object that must appear in the story. Participants write up a flash fiction story, 1,000 words or less, post it to their website/blog and link it here in the comments. As I’m no good at making videos I did it off stage and the results were the Jack of Hearts (a Sports Story), a Seven of Diamonds (a Piano Factory) and the Ace of Clubs (a Pair of Handcuffs.)

Here’s the results for April!

E. H. Timms wrote “Take Your Cue.” https://thinkingthinking123.blogspot.com/2022/04/flash-fic-challenge-take-your-cue.html

I wrote “Will I Be Rich Say the Bells of Shoredich?” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2022/04/11/will-i-be-rich-the-bells-of-shoredich-chime-for-aprils-flash-fiction-draw-challenge-by-jeff-baker-april-11-2022/

Thanks so much to all our participants! It’s not too late—if you want to write a story for this, post it in the comments and I’ll stick it up here! And I’ll see you on May 2nd, 2022 for the next draw!

——–jeff

Posted in crime, E. H. Timms, Fiction, Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, Short-Stories, Sports Story | Leave a comment

“Will I Be Rich?” The Bells of Shoredich Chime for April’s Flash Fiction Draw Challenge by Jeff Baker (April 11, 2022)

Photo by Tembela Bohle on Pexels.com

Will I Be Rich? Say The Bells of Shoredich

by Jeff Baker

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The draws for the April 2022 Flash Fiction Draw Challenge were A sports story, set in a piano factory involving a pair of handcuffs. I write too many stories using song titles as titles, and I apologize to all those who know London if I didn’t get it right!——jeff

Padraig Denny huffed and puffed as he ran through the barricaded London streets. He was in the back of the pack of the marathon, but that was where he wanted to be. Less people watching.

Being a runner in a marathon was a perfect alibi. And nobody was going to look for stolen gold certificates hidden in a runner’s shorts. All he had to do was follow the marked route and get into the car after blending in with all the people who didn’t cross the finish line first.

Good thing he’d run track in school. At least he’d stayed fit.

He kept jogging. The rhythm of his shoes hitting the pavement made him think of a song or a poem.

“Will-I-be-rich? Say-the-bells-of-Shore-dich…” His Grandmother used to recite that to him.

He jogged on.

“Will-I-be-rich? Will-I be-rich? Yes-I’ll-be-rich. Yes-I’ll-be-rich…”

Padraig smiled as he jogged along.

Up ahead, one of the arrows pointed down a side street. Padraig was probably in last place. He wasn’t trying to win. He turned down the street. Up ahead, another arrow pointed to the big, open garage door of an old brick building. He jogged in and saw upright pianos in various stages of assembly but no people around. The room was like a big garage with a clear path leading to another open doorway on the other side.

Several policemen jumped up from behind the pianos, guns drawn yelling for him to stop and put his hands up.

As they bent Padraig over one of the pianos and snapped the handcuffs on his wrists behind him they explained that one of his confederates had talked too much and they had nabbed the rest. It was just a matter of getting him off the main road and into the factory they had evacuated, where there would be nowhere to run.

They’d gotten the idea for turning the sign “from an old cartoon, one of those about that cheeky road runner…”

As the cops led him out to the police car, one of them said “Look at it this way, Mate. You may not be the first one in the marathon to cross the finish line but you’re the first to finish the race in handcuffs.”

—end—

Posted in crime, Fiction, Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, Short-Stories, Sports Story | Leave a comment

Progress Report (Remember those?!) from Jeff Baker. April 9th, 2022.

Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

Not much progress to report since mid-February, but there has been some. Personal stuff and genial laziness have kept me from writing anything full-length, but I did get the weekly flash fictions and a few extra ones done.

And I saw my story “Nereus” published in the first quarterly issue of “Orion’s Beau,” where it looks wonderful!

So, I’ll keep at the short-short stuff and start working on the larger stuff. That’s progress too!

Hopefully it will not be as long before I post another of these.

That’s about it for now!

Posted in Progress Reports, Writing | Leave a comment

Everyone is Writing a Book. Friday Flash Fiction from Jeff Baker, April 8th, 2022

Everyone Is Writing a Book

by Jeff Baker

It was the early spring of nineteen-seventy-five and I was trying to be a writer.

I would park in Old Man Emmerdale’s lot in front of the store and then go into the back of my delivery truck, pull out my notebook and write, and write, and write. Usually until Mr. Emmerdale would show up and let me into the store with his order.

Now, usually Mr. Emmerdale wouldn’t get there until around Nine-Thirty but he said he would be there at Eight, so I was there by Seven-Thirty in the morning. This sometimes left me with about two hours to write. Which would have been wonderful if I had anything to write about, instead of random scribblings.

That one morning in that spring, Mr. Emmerdale got there just after Eight. I started unloading his order, several stacks of heavy boxes which I wheeled down the ramp from the truck and then into the store.

I had them all in and he was checking the order when the front door banged open and a youngish man with a growth of beer staggered in, smelling of whiskey, gun in his hand.

“Gimmie everything in your register!” The man barked out the order, but the gun made it a command. I just stood there terrified. Mr. Emmerdale fumbled through the register and pulled out a couple of bucks swearing it was all he had.

“Don’t bullshit me, man,” the gunman yelled. “I used to work here. You got the money in a deposit bag under the register. Under the floorboard!” His voice was slurred. He was smashed.

Emmerdale stared at him for a second, like he was trying to remember him. Then he pulled open the floorboard, fished out the bag and handed it to the man.

The gunman staggered out the front door. In another instant we heard a crash.

The gunman had passed out right there on the front stoop. We called the police.

That evening at home, I sat at my desk and wrote. No random scribblings, this time I had a story to tell.

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: For the record, the picture was taken by me from my delivery truck before I quit my job to write. And I’ve been watching a lot of “The Waltons,’ and I see the influence of the opening/closing narration of that show here. Oh, the title is from Cicero. —–jsb

Posted in crime, Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

Rainbow Snippets: “Hope Echoes” from “Three Left Turns to Nowhere.” from Jeff Baker, April 8, 2022.

Photo by Loubna Belmekki on Pexels.com

Every week we post six lines from a work of ours, a work-in-progress or published, or a recommendation of someone else’s work with at least one LGBT character. Posted at Rainbow Snippets here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

We’ve been posting from the new anthology “Three Left Turns to Nowhere” from Bold Strokes Books https://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/books/three-left-turns-to-nowhere-3805-b three interconnected M/M romance novellas from three different authors all set in Hopewell, Ontario, a little town with a magical knack for bringing people together.

‘Nathan Burgoine’s story “Hope Echoes” closes out the collection. Fielding Roy is also stranded in Hopewell. He crosses paths with some people and places we’ve met in the other two novellas. He also has an unwelcome knack for seeing things that have happened before. One echo of the past in particular has been appearing to him; maybe because of the magic of Hopewell.

When he opened his eyes again, the hot guy in shorts and the tight blue shirt faded into sight at the corner of the intersection, took a few steps, waved at someone and faded back out. The guy was dedicated to his waving, that was for sure. But this time, Fielding noticed more than his calves, though they still stole the show. It wasn’t just blue shorts and a shirt, but some kind of uniform. And the man sported a tattoo around his left biceps.

As echoes went, at least it was fun to look at. Had he ever had hot beefcake replaying before?

Went a line or two over six, but it was just too good not to have in here. Again, I recommend “Three Left Turns to Nowhere” and its fine trio of authors; Jeffrey Ricker, J. Marshall Freeman and ‘Nathan Burgoine (who we saw here.)

So see you soon, and may all your turns lead to romance and happy reading!

——jeff

Posted in 'Nathan Burgoine, Books, Fantasy, Fiction, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets, Shared World Anthologies, Short-Stories | 2 Comments

Flash Fiction Draw Challenge for April, 2022!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Mike Mayak, AKA Jeff Baker

First, let’s get to the prompts for April 2022. Then the long-winded explanation.

A Sports Story

In a Piano Factory

Involving a Pair of Handcuffs

Hi!

I’m Jeff Baker https://www.facebook.com/Jeff-Baker-Author-176267409096907 and I also write as Mike Mayak. https://mobile.twitter.com/MikeMayakAuthor

I’m the current moderator for the Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, which was stared by ‘Nathan Burgoine a few years ago and carried on by Cait Gordon and Jeffrey Ricker. It’s a monthly writing challenge mainly for stress-free fun that anyone can play.

Here’s how it works: The first Monday of each month I draw three cards, a club, a heart and a diamond. These correspond to a list naming a genre, a setting and an object that must appear in the story. Participants write up a flash fiction story, 1,000 words or less, post it to their website/blog and link it here in the comments. I’ll post the results on April 11th. As I’m no good at making videos I did it off stage and the results were the Jack of Hearts (a Sports Story), a Seven of Diamonds (a Piano Factory) and the Ace of Clubs (a Pair of Handcuffs.)

So the stories will be a Sports Story

Set in a Piano Factory

Involving (or including) a Pair of Handcuffs.

So, play ball! I’ll see you in a week!

Posted in Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, Writing | 2 Comments

Rainbow Snippets “Scavenger Hunt” from “Three Left Turns to Nowhere”

Photo by Loubna Belmekki on Pexels.com

Every week we post six lines from a work of ours, a work-in-progress or published, or a recommendation of someone else’s work with at least one LGBT character. Posted at Rainbow Snippets here:https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

Last week we started looking at the new anthology “Three Left Turns to Nowhere” from Bold Strokes Books https://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/books/three-left-turns-to-nowhere-3805-b three interconnected M/M romance novellas from three different authors all set in Hopewell, Ontario, a little town with a magical knack for bringing people together.

Of the three writers in “Three left Turns to Nowhere, I was least familiar with J. Marshall Freeman. His story “The Scavenger Hunt” strands out and proud Jerome “Rome” Epstein in Hopewell for a couple of days where the town’s romantic magic (possibly for real!) starts leaving him clues to a possible romance of his own. Here, Rome is talking to hunky mechanic Lyn, who appears elsewhere in the three stories. (Interconnected, remember? Which is half the fun!)

Lyn laughs. “Sort of. The old-timers say that Hopewell has a way of giving people what they need. People see things here, get intuitions, turn their lives around. So they say.”

Here’s a snippet that immediately follows the previous one:

Rome is intrigued by this. He likes the idea of a town that takes care of you. “Do you believe it?”

“Not sure. Now that we’ve graduated, my friends are all leaving, but I think I’m going to stick it out.”

The conversation is veering into the personal, and Rome doesn’t want to start answering questions about himself.

That’s all for this week. Again, “Three Left Turns to Nowhere” is a book I recommend highly!

Posted in Books, Fantasy, Fiction, J. Marshall Freeman, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets, Shared World Anthologies, Short-Stories | 6 Comments

The Triumph and Eventual Dissolution of Doctor E. A. Valdemar, Mad Scientist. Friday Flash Fics by Jeff Baker, April 1st, 2022.

The Triumph and Eventual Dissolution of Doctor E. A. Valdemar Mad Scientist.

By Jeff Baker

The grey-haired man in the lab coat stared town at the tiny figures and raised fists in triumph.

“It works! It works!” he shouted to the heavens. “My Shrinkalator works!”

His assistant Dwight stepped out onto the hotel balcony and sighed.

“They aren’t shrunken, Doctor Valdemar,” Dwight said. “They look shrunk because we’re on the thirty-fifth floor.”

“Oh,” Doctor Valdemar said. “Then when I bring out my Shrinkalator, I will minimize the populace and have them do my bidding!”

“We discussed this before, minimized people an inch high would be largely ineffective for your plans of world conquest.” Dwight said.

“How so?”

“You’ll need people to run things and people the size of a mouse can’t operate planes or buses or the military-industrial complex or anything else you’d need.” Dwight said.

“What kind of mad scientist’s assistant are you anyway?” Doctor Valdemar asked, his eyes narrowing.

“We’ve discussed this before, too.” Dwight said. “I’m the consultant you hired. Your business model, remember? World domination is impractical anymore.”

“An army!” Dr. Valdemar breathed, his eyes wide. “An army made of the stitched-together parts of…”

“NO! No army,” Dwight said.

“Drones with flying hypnotic rays?” Dr. Valdemar asked.

“No.”

“Control of the world’s major broadcast outlets?” Dr. Valdemar asked hopefully.

“Nobody really broadcasts anymore,” Dwight said. “Streaming is the big thing today.”

Dwight stood there staring, a light dawning in his eyes. He smiled.

“Doctor Valdemar,” he said. “How would you feel about a mass-market saturation campaign?”

—end—

Posted in Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Science Fiction, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

Soup, a Barn and a Bouquet. And a Goose. Story by Jeff Baker from (yet another prompt!) March 30, 2022.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Is It Soup Yet?

By Jeff Baker

You should be careful when you pick wildflowers.

I sat there on the bale of hay in the barn watching Charlie’s cousin mix up the broth in the pan on the little fire from the little cooker he usually took on camping trips.

“Skip, you and Charlie are just lucky I know this formula,” cousin Zebulon said. “And lucky I come from a long line of witchboys.”

A line of cute, muscular witchboys, I thought to myself. He was barely older than we were, not yet thirty and he liked strutting around in boots, denim overalls and a tank top.

Charlie and I had been vacationing at his cousin Zebulon’s farmhouse in the country near the Dark Hills. Charlie had wandered out early and picked me a bouquet of wildflowers. He’d surprised me in bed and presented me the bouquet just as the Sun was coming up. He’d smelled them and an instant later had turned into a goose.

I sighed again. At the other end of the barn the Charlie goose honked and flapped impatiently.

“In a minute!” Zebulon said, stirring the broth. “You can’t rush this stuff.”

Zebulon had explained that in picking the “Immolathium Anatidaeus” or “Goose-Fire,” at dawn and presenting it to his true love and having him sniff it, Charlie had performed an ancient spell of the Hills and zap! Became a goose. To undo it, he had to drink “Goose Soup,” which Zebulon, luckily, knew how to make. It had taken us much of the day to find the ingredients.

“Okay,” Zebulon said. “Now, Skip, hand me the Goose-Fire flower. We add it into the broth and make the soup.”

“Uh, I tossed the bouquet in the trash,” I said. I hadn’t wanted to turn into a goose myself.

“Quick, run up the hill and grab a handful and for God’s sake, don’t smell them!”

Charlie honked at me as I ducked out the door.

I ran up the hill, not quite sure which flowers he needed, so I picked the ones I remembered from the bouquet Charlie brought me, being very careful not to smell it as I was bringing it to my true love.

Zebulon pulled out one of the flowers and stirred it into the pan of broth. After a moment it started to fizzle and pop.

“Okay, it’s soup!” Zebulon called out to Charlie the goose.

Charlie waddled over, extended his neck and slurped a billfull of the soup. An instant later, the Charlie I knew was squatting on the barn floor drinking from the pan in Zebulon’s extended arm.

“That’s a relief!” Charlie said.

“You said it!” I said! I’d better toss these things before…”

I had picked up the bouquet of flowers I’d picked and handed it to Charlie, accidentally brushing it against my face.

An instant later, I was flapping and honking on the barn floor.

Zebulon shook his head and sighed. “I guess it works at dusk, too,” he said. “Okay, most of the broth is still good, but I’d better put in a few more flowers. Gotta have it fresh.”

He nodded at Charlie. “Hand me those flowers, Charlie, but first…”

Zebulon fumbled in his overalls pocket and handed Charlie an old wooden clothespin.

“Put this on your nose. To be safe.”

Charlie smiled. I honked.

—end—

AUTHORS NOTE: I’m probably in too many prompt groups already but I couldn’t resist this idea which just banged into my head. P. T. Wyant posts a Wednesday Words prompt on her site https://ptwyant.com/2022/03/30/wednesday-words-379-3-30-2022/and I saw this and decided to play along. The prompts were a barn, soup and a bouquet.

This is one of about four stories I’ve done about Wayland Skip Smith (to give him his full name) another of my characters with a knack for stumbling into the strange.

Posted in Fantasy, Fiction, LGBT, Short-Stories, Skip Smith | 2 Comments