“Going Commando.” Raw Fiction From Jeff Baker for Friday Flash Fics. August 4th, 2023.

Posted on August 4, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Going Commando

by Jeff Baker

“Cannonball!” Scott yelled, jumping into the pool.

“Not so loud!” Chad said. “The neighbors are asleep.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry!” Scott said.

“Oh, wow! Will you look at the stars! There’s the Summer Triangle, right overhead!” Zach pointed upward, tracing the Triangle in the August sky with a finger.

Zach Abruzzi was taking care of his folks house while they were on vacation and he was home from college. He’d invited his cousin Chad and their friend Scott over for a couple of weeks. They all went to the same school together and they were serious students (Chad was pre-law) but that wasn’t apparent from the way they were goofing around in the pool. The big above-ground pool that took up half of Zach’s family’s backyard in Pending, Kansas.

“Y’know, I could float out here for hours,” Zach sighed.

“Yeah, me too,” Chad said. “I mean, we don’t have anywhere to go for a few weeks.”

Scott held up a finger. “Store,” he said. “We’re almost out of soda and chips.”

“Part of your nutritious breakfast,” Zach said in a mock-serious announcer voice. The three of them laughed.

They floated and bobbed in the pool, silently for a few minutes, listening to the water lap the sides of the pool and watching for a hint of breeze stirring the leaves of the overhanging tree lit by the pool lights and the lone porch light.

“Hey, Zach,” Chad said. “You remember when we went out to the lake with our folks that one summer?”
“Yeah, we did that a lot of times.” Zach said.

“Remember skinny dipping?” Chad asked with a broad grin.

“Oh, God!” Zach said.

“Skinny dipping?” Scott asked, grinning himself.

“We were, what? About eleven?” Chad said. “We went swimming up at the lake, spending the day out there. We didn’t go in too deep or out to far and then Greg Louganis here…”

“Oh God!” Zach said, sinking down in the water almost up to his ears.

“…says ‘Hey! Let’s try skinny dipping!’ So we pulled our trunks off and floated around naked for a few minutes…”

“Oooooooooo…” Zach said blowing bubbles in the water.

“…when all of a sudden this seaweed or something brushes the inside of Zach’s leg and he screams ‘SNAKE!’ and runs out of the water stark naked, carrying his trunks in one hand!”

They were all three laughing.

“I didn’t know if it was a snake or if it was going to bite me so I tried to pull my trunks on before I got out of the water but they caught on a branch or something that was underwater and they ripped.” Chad shrugged. “Cheap trunks!”

The three of them laughed loudly for another minute. Then Scott cleared his throat.

“You know, it’s gotta be around midnight. Most of the people in this town are asleep right now. How ‘bout we…you know?”

“What?” Zach asked.

“This!” Scott said, ducking underwater for a moment then popping back up with his shorts in his hand. “These aren’t even trunks, they’re my basketball shorts from High School. I’ve been going commando all day!” Yeah, the blue shorts had the South High School from Wichita logo on them.

Zach and Chad looked at each other and then quickly shucked off their trunks.

“Toss ‘em over by the ladder,” Zach said. Three pairs of sopping wet shorts went sailing over the edge to plop on the ground. Chad laughed and ducked underwater, launching himself from the wall of the pool to swim underwater to the other end, feeling the rush of water and hearing the clicking of sound.

“Marco!” Scott yelled, splashing water.

“Oh, no!” Zach said, laughing.

There was laughter and splashing for a few more minutes.

“Hey! I’m gettin’ cold!” Scott said.

“Yeah, that breeze came up all of a sudden. Wait ‘till it dies down.” Chad said.

“Hard to believe it’s been in the hundreds all week,” Zach said. “I gotta go to the bathroom anyway. Okay, here goes.”

Zach hoisted himself up the ladder and plopped down on the ground and slipped grabbing a rung of the ladder to steady himself.

“You okay?” Chad yelled, swimming towards the ladder.

“Yeah,” Zach said. “But we’ll need to wash these trunks. They all landed on a doggie present and I stepped on them and got them all messy.

Soon the three young men were standing by the ladder, not wanting to touch the trunks.

“So, do we leave ‘em there?” Chad asked.

“Naaaa.” Zach said. “Scrape ‘em off and throw ‘em in the washer. “We can walk into the house in the raw.”

“Yeah, we’re guys!” laughed Scott.

“MIS-ter Abruzzi!! It is almost twelve-thirty and some of us need to sleep!” The female voice belonged to Mrs. Hamilton who was sticking her head over the fence between the two properties.

Scott, Zach and Chad stood there frozen in surprise. She went on.

“I’ve told your family to keep it quiet on weeknights. Now if you don’t…”

The elderly lady (who must have been in her fifties, Zach thought) stopped talking. Here eyes were adjusting and focusing without her glasses. There was enough light for her to see all of Chad, Zach and Scott.

“Good…Lord!” Mrs. Hamilton gasped.

Chad, Zach and Scott raced for the back door.

—end—

Posted in Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Kansas, LGBT, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

“Stand Ready to Smite” With Rainbow Snippets from Jeff Baker. July 29, 2023.

Posted on July 29, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Every week we post six lines of a story of ours, a work-in-progress or from someone else’s work we recommend that has LGBT characters on Rainbow Snippets here https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

I’m going to add this introduction from when I posted my story “Stand Ready to Smite” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/06/23/stand-ready-to-smite-for-friday-flash-fics-by-jeff-baker-june-23-2023/ a few weeks ago. Then we’ll get to the snippets:

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I haven’t done one of these bar stories in about a year or so, possibly because the hostile and downright violent anti-LGBT mood in the country seemed to preclude a comedy set at a fictional venue similar to real-world ones that are getting attacked both metaphorically and physically. But I figured that enough was enough and so I wrote this; which is a bit of a nod to my favorite writers Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore.

Here’s snippet one where Demeter’s Bar bartender Zack is explaining about his bandaged hand.

“Some homophobic assholes jumped him in the parking lot the other night, that’s what happened.” That was from Paco, sitting at the end of the bar looking muscular and young in the tank top he wore after workouts.

“They just caught me off guard,” Zack said, pouring the refill with his unbandaged hand. “I got a couple of bruises and this hand got bashed up against a car. One of the thugs caught the worst of it.”

“Yeah, Zack got him in the knee!” Paco said, giving him a thumb’s up.

“I was aiming higher,” Zack said, wishing he’d kept up lessons at the Dojo when he was in high school.

Okay, more than six lines. But the professor they are talking to offers them a solution. A few days later, we meet the solution. Here’s snippet two:

Mrs. DeLeon stood open mouthed at the tall, grey metal figure that stood by the door of Demeter’s. It was about six-foot-four, built like a muscular Tin Woodsman and had a face of frozen grey features that she had seen on a statue somewhere. It was actually dressed in shorts and a tank top that would have made Paco look scrawny.

“What the hell is this?” Mrs. DeLeon asked, to no one in particular.

“Um, that’s mine,” Zack said rushing from behind the bar. “At least it’s a loaner. For now. I’m giving it back.”

Okay, one more snippet

“About two nights after he talked to us,” Zack said, “Professor Ginastera shows up right before closing. And this…guy walks in right behind him. Metal. Professor said he called him Vengador. that’s Spanish for Avenger.”

“Yes, I know,” Mrs. DeLeon said.

“Well, he tells me this is a defense robot he’s been working on and that he figured I could help him test it out. For a week or so. Kind of like a test-drive.”

Well, that’s it for this week. Next week something very good not from me. —-jeff

Posted in C. L. Moore, Demeter's Bar, Fiction, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets, Science Fiction, Short-Stories | 8 Comments

A Shout-Out to Ribbit Computers from Jeff Baker (July 28, 2023.)

Posted on July 28, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Helpful tech Brodie at Ribbit Computers, West Street Wichita, KS.

I had to replace my old laptop about a month ago. I’d spilled beer on it and took it to see if it could be repaired. They advised replacement. So I selected the Dell (smaller keyboard, more memory and faster speed) which I now use and they proceeded to transfer my precious documents and pictures to the new laptop. Got it at a good price and it is performing well.

Time and again I take my computers to Ribbit and get either serious repairs or free tech advice. I’ve always found their efficient service well worth it! I recommend them highly!

(And I apologize to Brodie if I misspelled his name!)

Here’s the Ribbit website: https://ribbitonline.com/?fbclid=IwAR2MXIWrNSriVN8J7Fmjr42cFgodbmQCPJXTiRl7XSQ9AW4Dyu6UG7X7cpg

And here’s their Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/downtownribbit

——-jeff

Posted in Computers, Non-Fiction, Promo, Ribbit Computers | Leave a comment

“Knock-Knock! Who’s There?” Friday Flash Fics from Jeff Baker. July 28, 2023.

Posted on July 28, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Knock-Knock, Who’s There?

By Jeff Baker

I’d been banging on the delivery door for about three minutes when I finally got a response from inside. It was like that old comedy bit.

“Who is it?” the voice said.

“Delivery!” I said.

“Read the sign. No deliveries between Eleven-Thirty and One-Thirty.”

“It also says ‘Taco Grande’ and they moved.” I said. “Look, your boss called us up and wanted this stuff immediately. Open up, it’s hot out here.”

“I can’t open this door before one. Besides, we’re in our lunch rush.” the voice said.

“I drove around through the front parking lot,” I said. “You don’t look busy, and you need…”

“Look, you don’t bring anything in here without my approval,” the voice said. “I don’t care who said what or how hot it is. You’re not getting in here right now.”

“Your boss wanted this stuff as fast as we could get it here,” I said. “I have the cooler in the van and I…”

“I don’t care what anybody said,” he said opening the door a crack. “You get out of here and come back after…”

He was a tall, lean man with brown hair and one of those corporate-looking button-down shirts restaurant managers wear with the company logo on his tie.

He stared for a moment.

“What the hell is that?” he asked, pointing to my two-wheeler and the brown cardboard tub oozing a purple glop all over the pavement.

“That,” I said, “is the tub of raspberry ice cream your boss called up for and wanted in a hurry. We had instructions to bring it out as fast as we could and put it in your freezer. Your boss has big plans for it. And,’ I said pulling the wheeler out from under it, “he already paid so you don’t have to sign for it.”

I turned and went back to my delivery truck.

The joke was on me. They made that idiot who wouldn’t open the door a Supervisor.

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Actually, everything in this story really did happen to me at various times in my career as a deliveryman (about 25 years!) I thought about inserting dragons, zombies or a flying saucer but truth is stranger than fiction! ——jeff

Posted in Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

Rainbow Snippets and a “Cleanup on Aisle Two” from Jeff Baker. July 23, 2023.

Posted on July 23, 2023 by jeffbaker307

July 23, 2023.

Every week we post six lines of a work of ours, a work-in-progress or a work of someone else’s we recommend that has LGBT characters at Rainbow Snippets, here https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

This week, a couple of snippets from my Friday Flash Fiction story “Cleanup on Aisle Two.” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/07/07/cleanup-on-aisle-two-friday-flash-fics-may-get-messy-from-jeff-baker-july7-2023/ I set it marginally in the future but I hope the characters and emotions come off as real and contemporary. Enjoy!

Arnie Gilman shifted the loaf of bread in his arms, real bread, he thought, not that processed stuff they grow in sheets. He should have probably gotten a cart, but hell, sixty-four wasn’t old, he could carry the big bottle of juice in one hand, the bread in the other and the spatula under his arm.

He glanced out the big grocery store windows as he walked up front to the checkout. Maybe he’d catch a glimpse of the Mars Shuttle that was leaving from the airport. He smiled. He and Mark had always talked about taking one to Mars for a vacation. But now…

Here’s another snippet, as Arnie wanders over to the new “Slow Checkout” and a young checker named Carlos.

“The idea was for there to be a lane for checkers to take their time and talk to the customers because a lot of older people are just lonely and come into stores for conversation.” Gilman said.

“Yeah, that’s the idea,” Carlos said. “It’s just been a week but I have some regulars who come by here. One lady comes in every day and just buys a bag of M & M’s. Talks for five minutes.” He grinned. “But I don’t mind.”

Yeah, I like sweet stories too. Next week, something a bit more edgy (if I remember to do it!)

—–jeff

Posted in Fiction, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets | 6 Comments

Old Doctor John and the Bespectacled Band. Friday Flash Fics from Jeff Baker. July 21, 2023.

Posted on July 21, 2023 by jeffbaker307

The Adventure of the Bespectacled Band

by Jeff Baker

When I was thirteen, my Father had me run occasional errands for him. Sometimes, this involved delivering messages, sometimes packages. I wasn’t sure what he did for a living but as I was out of school, I didn’t care. This time, it was a message, a piece of paper folded and sealed with old-fashioned wax.

And I got to take it to one of my very favorite people; Old Doctor John, who I figured must have been a hundred years old, but in 1928 he was a lot younger than I am now.

The times he made house calls, or when I took messages to him, he had some of that peppermint candy from a jar, but that was not as wonderful as the stories he told of the years he lived off in London where he tended the sick or helped his friend solve the sometimes bizarre problems that came his way.

That Summer evening, with music playing in the air, I ran over to Dr. John’s office to deliver the message.

Dr. John was his usual, happy self, until he opened the message. As he read through it, I saw his expression turn grim. He mouthed one, strange word: “Mycroft.”

“Young Lad,” he said to me, and somehow I felt the importance of what he said from his tone of voice. “I must, and your Father and I must, ask you to do something dangerous, if you will.”

My heat beat faster. I nodded.

“Do you hear the band playing in the distance?”

“Yes,” I said. “They are rehearsing in their front yard. Near us.”

“I must ask you to go there and pretend to listen to them play. Applaud if you want, but do not think you are anything but a listener. And count how many of the people, including the conductor, are wearing glasses.”

“Glasses?” I said.

“Yes, glasses.” This is vital. They will never suspect you. But this is dangerous. Even more dangerous if you do not do this.”

I nodded.

I started running to the street where the music was coming from, then I realized that I should not appear to be in a hurry. I should appear to just be walking by and happen upon the band practicing there in the yard. Which is what I did. It was a small group, maybe twenty people and they were playing, rehearsing a piece I remembered from when the famous American bandleader Sousa had come to our town a year earlier and my family and I had heard it.

They were all dressed casually and the big man who was the conductor had taken off his jacket and was in his shirt sleeves. I loved the music, but I remembered my mission. I drew closer, pretending to listen intently and I carefully counted the number of people who were wearing glasses. I counted three times to be sure.

I stayed there, watching the band rehearse and then I casually walked down the street, opposite the way I came, repeating the number in my head. When I was far enough away, I ducked down a side street and ran back to Old Doctor John.

His response was simply “Splendid!” He wrote the number down, along with a short note and put it in his jacket pocket. “This,” he said, “I had better handle. And you had better get home.”

It was a week or so later when I found reason to step into Old Doctor John’s office again.

Old Doctor John grinned at me.

“Some day, I may be able to tell you of the service you performed for your country and maybe the world. For now, the only reward you will receive is my gratitude and this little gift.”

He handed me an envelope which smelled of tobacco and chemicals.

“That is just a trivial note once written to me by that old friend I sometimes tell you about. I’m sure he would want you to have some sort of souvenir for your service and your silence.”

I nodded. I did not open the old letter until I got home. It made me smile. Like Dr. John’s fabulous friend was talking to me.

It was many years later when I came upon a rumor that the town I lived in had supposedly once been the headquarters of a spy ring which had been broken. I smiled again.

I will be 101 years old next week. I still have not shown the letter or told this story to anyone.

Until now.

—-end—

Posted in Fiction, Friday Flash Fics, Friday Flash Fictions, Mystery, Old Dr. John, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

July Flash Fiction Draw Challenge—The Results! A Day Late. (Elephants Don’t Forget, But I Did!) Mike Mayak, July 18th, 2023.

Posted on July 18, 2023 by jeffbaker307
Photo by Venkat Ragavan on Pexels.com

Flash Fiction Draw Challenge July 2023; The Results! July 18th, 2023.

Hi, again! Mike here, also known as “Jeff Baker.”

My e-mail was off yesterday (and so was I!) so I’m a day late with these! The stories are worth the wait!

The draws for the July 2023 FFDC were:

A “Just So” Story

Set at a Radio Station

Involving a Plastic Elephant

E. H. Timms wrote “Elephants Never Forget” https://thinkingthinking123.blogspot.com/2023/07/flash-fic-challenge-elephants-never.html

And I wrote “The Flip-Side of Kipling.” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/07/10/the-flip-side-of-kipling-by-mike-mayak-flash-fiction-draw-challenge-story-for-july-2023-july-10-2023/

Remember, it’s never too late to write a story of your own, post it in the comments and join in the fun!

We’ll be back with more draws and stories on August 7th, 2023! ——mike

Posted in E. H. Timms, Fable, Fantasy, Fiction, Mike Mayak, Monthly Flash Fiction Draw Challenge, Rudyard Kipling, Short-Stories | Leave a comment

Rainbow Snippets Spends “Nights in White Satin” by Mike Mayak (a.k.a. Jeff Baker.) July 15, 2023.

Posted on July 15, 2023 by jeffbaker307

July 15, 2023

Every week we post six lines of a story of ours, a work-in-progress or from someone else’s work we recommend that has LGBT characters on Rainbow Snippets here https://www.facebook.com/groups/963484217054974

I’m posting this little snippet from my most recent of my weekly Friday Flash Fiction stories “Nights in White Satin.” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/07/14/friday-flash-fics-nights-in-white-satin-by-jeff-baker/ Yes, there are LGBT characters in it, but this snippet is an evocation of the power of story (which is what we’re here for, isn’t it?) In this bit, it’s dusk and Scotty is telling his vacationing kids a local ghost story. (or is it just a story?)

Even in an age of cellphones and made-to-order videos there is a power to a good story well-told. Scotty knew his kids and knew when to pause, what timbre of voice to use and how to make it all atmospheric. It helped that it was dark and lit by the lights on the low corner walls of the porch which cast long shadows.

The boys were enraptured. Eyes wide, mouths open, hanging on every word.

Scotty took a deep breath as he finished, his voice just above a whisper.

For the record, I wrote that story out-of-town in my Brother’s backyard while his nephews and grandkids frolicked in the pool. (May have inspired some of the story!)

Next week, some surprises! (Meaning, I have no idea what I’m going to post!)

——–jeff

Posted in Ghost Story, LGBT, Rainbow Snippets | 8 Comments

Friday Flash Fics: Nights In White Satin, by Mike Mayak (A.K.A. Jeff Baker)

Posted on July 14, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Nights In White Satin

by Mike Mayak

“What does this remind you of?” Sam asked, stretching back in the big chair on the cool evening porch.

“Back when this was Grandma and Grandpa’s house,” Scotty said, sipping his lemonade with a glance at the one story ranch house with the well-lit porch and garden.

“Yeah, back then the suburbs hadn’t swelled over here yet!” Sam said.

“Remember riding our bikes down to the convenience store on Thanksgiving when we were like eleven and twelve because Grandma was out of milk and the big grocery stores were closed?” Scotty asked.

“And you said you thought the convenience store only sold sodas, toys and comic books!” Sam laughed.

The two brothers sat there laughing for a moment. Summer seemed a long way from Thanksgiving.

“Hey, Dad!” The front door had burst open and the two boys, twelve and eleven, tanned after a weekend of summer adventure rushed out onto the front porch.

“Can we?” they said in unison.

` “No. It’s late.” Scotty said. “We’re here to be with family.”

“Oh yeah. Hi Uncle Sammy.”

“Hi, kids.” Sam said grinning.

“When’s Mom coming back?” Drew, the younger brother asked.

“She and her cousins are out visiting, doing girl stuff, you know,” Scotty said. “You boys come up here and sit down. And no cellphones.”

“Awwwwww!” the boys groaned in unison.

The four men sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I’m bored!” Deacon said.

“Yeah!” Drew said.

Sam cleared his throat. “Why don’t you tell them about the ghost?”

“Ghost?” Drew said.

“The one grandpa used to tell us about, remember?” Sam gave his older brother a purposeful look.

“Okay guys, gather ‘round,” Scotty said. “This is the story as your Grandfather told me. Back when this area was all farmland, there was an old farmer who lived in a farmhouse just down the road from here…”

Even in an age of cellphones and made-to-order videos there is a power to a good story well-told. Scotty knew his kids and knew when to pause, what timbre of voice to use and how to make it all atmospheric. It helped that it was dark and lit by the lights on the low corner walls of the porch which cast long shadows.

The boys were enraptured. Eyes wide, mouths open, hanging on every word.

Scotty took a deep breath as he finished, his voice just above a whisper.

“…And they say that on quiet Summer nights, the old farmer’s daughter, still wearing her long white satin gown, still walks down the road. Waiting…waiting…for her lost fiancee.”

“Woah!” Drew breathed.

“Yeah,” Deacon said. “Did they ever…”

“Look!” Drew shouted, pointing at the street.

There, at the far bend in the street, by the big old tree stood a figure, a female figure shimmering in a glistening white gown, long blonde hair covering her face, beckoning with long white gloves.

“It’s the ghost!” Deacon gasped!

“Like in the story!” Drew said.

“Quick! Inside!” Scotty said. “The ghost can’t get you in there!”

“GET us?” Drew shrilled, his voice a squeak.

“She’s looking for her fiancee, remember? And if you aren’t married she might think…”

“Quick! Under the bed!” Deacon said rushing for the door.

The two boys ran inside slamming the door behind them.

Scotty smiled and picked up his lemonade, raising it in a toast to the diaphanous figure in white.

The white-gowned figure gave his brother a thumbs-up. Scotty grinned again and nodded.

The kids didn’t know yet about their Uncle Sammy’s career as “Samantha; Chanteuse With the Silver Voice.” They’d never seen him in drag or with the blonde wig. It had come in handy to put a good scare in them though!

Some kids never grow up!

—end—

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Progress Report from Western Kansas (Early in the Morning!) Jeff Baker, July 10th, 2023.

Posted on July 10, 2023 by jeffbaker307

Progress Report from Western Kansas

Jeff Baker

Took a break by going out to my Niece’s Baby Shower last week. And I managed to get some writing done during the previous few weeks.

I sat down at a pizza place and while I was waiting on my order I did some plotting out on a story that’s due July 31st. If I type away I should have it done in time.

I found out another story I sent off a year or so ago is for an anthology has changed publishers and word counts, so I have to shave off 1600 words and re-submit by the end of August! How my life has changed since I first started that story!

I don’t remember when I posted the last of these progress reports, probably after I posted my June Queer Sci Fi column. I finished the July column a couple of days ago. I want to get back to where I was with having several months worth of those already done and ready to post.

I wrote several of the weekly flash fiction stories, including one yesterday afternoon sitting in the backyard watching cousins swim and friends chat and cats play.

I started two or three other full-length stories that I have worked on more than the ones I have deadlines for! I’m breaking a cardinal rule that I may have made for myself one of the weekends visiting my Brother in the 1990s when I realized I was stretching the writing too thin by working on too many projects at once and finishing none of them. I may have more discipline now.

And I am doing better emotionally.

A lot of really personal stuff I won’t bore anybody with but I have a lot of friends and family surrounding me. Online and within traveling distance. And yeah, the writing helps.

I still miss Darryl a lot but I feel different about that. It isn’t as all-consuming as it was at first when I made a couple of dumb decisions which thankfully didn’t cost me much.

Even with the loss, the life of a writer is not a bad life to have, so I’ll leave it there.

That’s about it for now!

——jeff baker, July 10, 2023. 3:08 A.M.

ADDENDA: I checked. I posted the last of these back in May. —–j.

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