authorjeffbaker

Tweet-O-Ween

by Jeff Baker

You’d think Halloween in a genuinely haunted house would be fun, but not when you’re the ghosts and the home’s blissfully unaware owners were out for the weekend.

Gus and Bertram (“Bertie”) had been happily “shacked-up” (as Bertie liked to put it) for decades and had been haunting the house ever since. The house was in Gus Rowley’s family and while it wasn’t a mansion it did have a name: Peregrine House, thanks to the stone bird carved on the front porch and rubbed away by nearly a century of children. Peregrine House was in an old neighborhood by the river and the two ghosts largely kept quiet and unnoticed by the families that lived there happily.

But Gus and Bertie were bored and so they decided to go out for the evening, even though as ghosts they knew they couldn’t stay very long.

Justin and Mick had met at the laundromat two summers earlier, when Mick had been widowed for several months and wasn’t sure about another relationship. But somehow he had gotten started talking about his late husband and he and Justin had gone out for lunch a few times (after Justin had slipped his name and number in with Mick’s clean socks) and after the first of the year Justin had moved into Mick’s apartment.

On this Halloween they were manning a table at the “Tweet-O-Ween” event the school Justin taught at held for the kids. And as this year Halloween was on a Friday, Mick and Justin weren’t sure who was more excited about no school tomorrow: the kids or Justin.

Dressed as pirates, Mick and Justin handed out candy to costumed kids and grinned at each other and held hands under the table there in the big front hallway.

“I guess they don’t really do trick-or-treating outside anymore.” Gus said as they drifted invisibly through the door of the school near Peregrine House where Tweet-O-Ween was in full swing.

“Yeah, they stopped going door-to-door a few years ago,” Bertie said. “Hey, I’m going to grab some candy! Replenish the ol’ ectoplasim!”

“Replenish your…? Okay, Topper!” Gus laughed. “But let’s duck back here and get visible.”

“Wanna do costumes?” Bertie said grinning.

“Naaaah. Vintage Nineteen-Forties outfits will be enough.” Gus said.

“And how!” Bertie snickered.

“Hey! C’mon! Leave some candy for the kids!” Mick said as Justin grabbed another wrapped butterscotch.

“I’m not swiping as much as that Baxter boy,” Justin said. “I’ll have a talk with…oh, Happy Halloween!” Their faces brightened as a shy Fairy Princess walked up with her treat bag.

Wearing casual suits and ties that would have fit in at a War Bond rally, Bertie and Gus strolled around the room, looking like they were about fifty, Bertie nibbling on a chocolate. Finally they stopped at Justin and Mick’s table just as Mick kissed Justin.

“Wow!” Bertie said. “I remember when we wouldn’t dare show affection like that in public.”

“I think it’s sweet!” Gus said. “You two look very happy. Been together long?”

“Little over two years,” Mick said. “You?”

“Yeah, it’s been a number of years that we’ve been…uh…friends.” Bertie said.

“As they would’ve said during the Eisenhower years.” Gus said with a broad smile.

“I love your costumes.” Mick said. “My Granddad had a suit and hat like that.”

“Yeah, they were really, uh, with it once.” Bertie said.

“We just stepped in here on our way back home to see if my nephew was here. Rowley.” Gus said.

“I don’t think I know…” Justin began, but there was a commotion from down the hallway; The fairy princess was crying that someone had stolen her candy.

“That Baxter boy again, I’ll bet.” Mick said.

“Yeah, he keeps bragging that he’ll call the cops if anybody spanks him.” Justin said.

Bertie stared down the hallway for a moment. Then he grabbed Gus’ arm.

“Hey, we’ve got to go! Nice meeting you folks!” Bertie said as he pulled Gus towards the front door.

“Yeah, Happy Halloween,” Gus said as they went out the door. “sorry we have to rush…”

“Bye!” Mick said.

“Nice couple of kids,” Gus said as Bertie pulled him into the parking lot and headed for the shadows. “Hey, what’s with you?”

“I saw that little brat grab that girl’s candy.” Bertie said. Here’s what we’re gonna do…”

Denny Baxter was stuffing his face. Big tough sixth grade bully walking down the hallway behind the decorated partitions that formed the Tweet-O-Ween area. Then the bag of candy jumped out of his hands, landing on the floor. He reached for it and it pulled away.

“What the Hell?” Denny said. He tried to grab it again and it slid through an open classroom door.

Denny ran after it.

The room had several low tables for an art class. There was a green skeleton sitting at one of the tables, happily munching from the bag of candy. The skeleton rose into the air as another skeleton faded into view beside it.

“Booooooooo!!” came two spooky voices. “Don’t ruin Halloween!!”

Denny ran, not caring about candy anymore.

It was after ten and Justin and Mick had helped clean up and were standing by their car.

“Wow. First chilly evening.” Mick said. “I can see my breath.”

“I think it went great,” Justin said.

“Any evening with you is great.” Mick said.

As they stood there and kissed a voice from nearby said “Happy Halloween.”

Mick and Justin didn’t notice that nobody was there.

—end—

Author’s Note: For Halloween I wanted to bring two sets of my characters together: Justin and Mick appear in a couple of stories including “Candy Is Dandy.” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/10/20/candy-is-dandy-early-halloween-for-friday-flash-fics-from-mike-mayak-aka-jeff-baker-october-20-2023/ Gus and Bertie appear in “The Year Is Gone Beyond Recall.” https://authorjeffbaker.com/2023/12/26/the-year-is-gone-beyond-recall-a-story-for-new-years-by-jeff-baker-december-26-2023/

Hope you enjoyed this Halloween treat! —-jeff