“The Mystery of Pere Noel,” Monday Flash Fics for Christmas, 2016

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(For my Christmas story, I decided to give myself a present—I’d always wanted to write a story about Edgar Allan Poe’s great precursor to Sherlock Holmes, C. Auguste Dupin. While there have been many Holmes pastiches, those of Dupin are few and far between. So, here is a macabre Christmas mystery. Not every Christmas in Paris is a white Christmas, but this one is. And it brings death…)

The Mystery of Pere Noel

(A Tale of the Chevalier Dupin)

By Jeff Baker

Le monde est un livre dont chaque pas nous ouvre une page —Alphonse de Lamartine

It was the chilly December of 184_, and Dupin and I were in our rooms, close to the fire happily engrossed in our books. Myself in Stendhal’s “Le Rouge et le Noir,” Dupin in “La Mare au Diable” by the remarkable George Sand, worlds away from the unaccustomed snow which had blanketed Paris. The buildings were topped in white and even some of the canals, having frozen over, were covered in snow. Some brave or foolhardy soul had even walked across the canal, leaving footprints as if it were merely another street, not a trap for the unwary. There was none of that in the room to break the reverie of firelight, shadow and the smoke from Dupin’s pipe. Nonetheless, when there was a rapping at the door, Dupin did not seem surprised.

“That will be G—–, the Prefect of Police,” he said without looking up.

“What makes you believe it would be G—–?” I asked.

“Only someone with pressing business would come here on a day like this,” Dupin said. “Anyone else standing outside in such bitter cold would rap on our door persistently, but G—– of course, is used to being attended to immediately as befits his authority. Others would knock repeatedly, the knock of a worried man. The business he has with us must be dire indeed for him to venture forth today, thus G—– is our visitor.” Dupin was soon proved correct as we heard the sound of snow being stamped off boots and quickly G—– was ushered into our presence, complaining about the weather.  After greeting our visitor, and offering him smoke, Dupin went straight to the point of the matter.

“I believe you bring grim news, if I am not mistaken,” Dupin said.

“Indeed Monsieur Dupin,” G—– said, his face set. “Murder, brutal murder. There have been three. One upon each of the last three days.”

“Mon Dieu!” I gasped.

“The victims stabbed,” the Prefect said. “In their own rooms.”

“Where,” Dupin said. “And at what time of day?”

“Early each evening,” the Prefect said. “In three different homes, each at the end of their streets. With one other odd similarity.”

“Which is?” Dupin asked.

“Each time, the figure of Pere Noel was seen standing in front of the house where the killing was to take place. A figure not terribly uncommon so close to Christmas. But here it seems to be a premonition.”

“Has no one stopped this apparition?” Dupin asked.

“No one thought to,” G—– said. “The last sighting this morning was after the snowfall and the witness to the apparition swore that it left no footprints in the snow.”

“Do you have the locations where the killings took place?” Dupin asked.

“Right here, Monsieur Dupin,” G—– said, withdrawing a folded paper from his coat. “It is the only other thing we have to go on.”

As Dupin quickly read through the paper, the Prefect explained that the three killings had taken place on streets not too far from one another in the same area of town.

“The first killing took place at Number 79 on the Rue de H—-. “The second at Number 83, Rue de P—-.”

“And the one this morning?” I asked.

“Rue de P—–,” the Prefect said. “At Number 89.”

“Mon Dieu!” Dupin exclaimed suddenly. “I do not know the motivation behind the killings, but I can tell you there will be another, and I know where the killing will occur!”

“Seriously, Dupin, do you know who is behind these atrocities?” G—– asked.

“A killer with an intellect almost, perhaps, as brilliant as myself!” Dupin said. “By all means, position watching officers around the residences of homes numbered 97. Make haste! And this time, instruct them to apprehend any lurker in the area garbed as Pere Noel! By then it will be too late, his appearance does not forecast the killings it postdates them!”

By now all of Paris knows the outcome; the Prefect and his men apprehended the killer as he was scaling the back wall of Number 97 on the Rue J—–, dressed of course like Pere Noel. The murderer was obsessed with mathematical progression and each address number was one of a series of specific numbers; in this case, the prime numbers, 79, 83, 89, 97 and so on, if he had not been stopped, if Dupin had not seen what should have been clearly visible to our eyes. And the uniform chosen by the madman, as Dupin explained to us later, was not meant to forecast a killing but to conceal one.

“No one, Mon ami,” Dupin said grimly, “would give a second glance to a man garbed in the familiar red costume, a costume selected to conceal the blood of the victim of a murderer.”

 

—end—

 

——- For Helena Stone and the people on the  Monday Flash Fics site. And in memory of Edgar Allan Poe.

 

 

Posted in Christmas, Fiction, Monday Flash Fiction, Mystery, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Christmas Story; “Christmas at Demeter’s Bar”

 

010(Author’s note: I owe ‘Nathan Burgoine for this idea, of posting some Christmas stories using characters we’ve written about. I haven’t done a lot of blog hops, so it seemed like fun! About a year and a half ago I started writing sci-fi stories told out of a bar in the mode of DeCamp and Pratt’s Gavagan’s Bar stories and Clarke’s “Tales From the White Hart.” To my surprise, I placed one of the stories in an anthology and have posted another online. There are five written so far, with more on the way and several plotted out. So, here’s a story that brings some of the various characters together. Happy reading!)

Christmas At Demeter’s Bar

By Jeff Baker

 

Demeter’s Bar closed up early the Wednesday before Christmas for their annual Christmas party. The lights were hanging over the side of the bar and around the big, round mirror behind it that Mrs. DeLeon said had come with the place, somehow making it look bigger.

Zack, the young-looking bartender with the shoulder-length red hair, grinned as he hoisted a crate onto the bar.

“Found these in the back, Mrs. Deleon. Under the box of napkins.”

“Good,” she said. Hang the plastic ones on top of the tree.”

“On it,” Zack said, rummaging through the box.

“Careful with those,” she said. “They’re plastic, but they were my Grandmother’s. I have her glass ones at home.”

The little Christmas tree had been set up at the corner of the small dance floor right next to the DJ’s booth.

“Hey, here’s mine,” Samuel said, handing her a small ornament. “You did this last year, didn’t you?”

“I do it every year, inviting all my friends and having them bring a decoration,” she said. “This is my family, so I have them come and decorate the party tree.”

The tree was festooned with a couple of plastic oranges, a little nutcracker, a model of the Golden Gate Bridge, a tiny spaceship whose lights twinkled and a stuffed bear in a Santa Claus suit.

“The bear is mine,” Regina said in a husky voice.

Likewise Mrs. De Leon knew Scotty, in his San Francisco sweatshirt, had brought the bridge.

“Hey, this eggnog’s wonderful, Mrs. DeLeon,” said the man in the suit and tie sitting in a booth with a sweet-faced middle-aged woman. Mr. Ross, who came to repair their ice machine usually every couple of weeks. He had become as much of a regular as some of their regulars. Vicki, who worked at the bar during the evenings, was laughing with Mr. Ross.

In the next booth, Miss Parker and Miss Anne were quietly holding hands as they glanced around, the lights reflecting off their gray hair. In another booth, three other women, considerably younger, were giggling like they were on a High School date. Brandi, Megan and Allison were about the same age as Day, Raven and Vicki who worked the evening shift and were trying to remember that Mrs. DeLeon had told them this was a party, they weren’t working and to help themselves to the eggnog.

Two other men were laughing with Zack as they wrapped a large garland of golden tinsel around the tree. One of them was Scotty’s husband and the other was Paco’s current boyfriend but Mrs. DeLeon wasn’t sure which was which. She glanced at the wall behind them where someone had pinned a Santa hat on a poster of a buff young man in a g-string. Christmas everywhere, she thought.

The line from A Christmas Carol kept going through her head: “Wonderful party, wonderful games, won-der-ful happiness!”

“You want some Christmas music?” That came from Stewart in the D.J. booth. “I got some Ralph Vaughn Williams.”

“That’ll be fine,” Mrs. DeLeon said with a smile. “Hey, did you put the little spaceship on the tree? It’s cute.”

“Nope, not mine.” Stewart said. “I brought the little train.”

“Nah, that little spaceship’s mine,” Paco said looking up from the pool table. “I found that in my backyard the other day, little lights and all. Guess it’s from a movie. Not sure which one.” The last word came out as a grunt as he aimed the cue ball towards a ball in the corner of the table and it went in with a clack.

“Oh, well,” she said, walking towards the bar. “Zack, where’s that box? I know I had the star for the top of the tree here somewhere.”

There was a sudden whistling whine which rose over the music. The twinkling lights of the little gray spaceship shone brightly as it rose from the tree, circled it once and then darted across the room. Zack ducked as it flew over him and crashed through the small upper window to the side of the bar.

Everybody stared for a moment.

“That fits in with some of the stories I’ve heard around here,” Scotty said.

“Yeah,” Zack said. “I’ll get that window.”

“Who wants more eggnog?”

 

—end—

 

Wishing everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, hopefully with plenty of good things to read!——-jeff

 

Posted in Christmas, Demeter's Bar, Fiction, LGBT, Science Fiction, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Oh, Stately Bird—November 24, 2016, Thanksgiving

Note: I wrote the original version of this a number of years ago. Here’s a Thanksgiving feast. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

                                   Oh Stately Bird

                                      By Jeff Baker

 

            Oh stately bird

            Who is there that does not love you

            Our family gathered together, you the centerpiece of the table altar

            Old Ben Franklin, I am told

            Wanted you as the symbol of our fledgling nation

            Not the Eagle.

            If things had gone the other way, I cannot imagine us sitting down

            To a meal of tough, sinewy Eagle.

            Wild, bred, captured, fighting, wandering, independent, forever free.

            In many ways, our national symbol you may yet well be.

 

                                    –end–

 

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The Forest—Monday Flash Fics, November 21, 2016

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Note: Actually had trouble getting the “voice” in this one down, then all of a sudden I had it and I also have an additional page—this may develop into something a bit longer although this type of fantasy setting is hardly original with me. ——Jeff

                                              The Forest

                                              By Jeff Baker

 

            I jumped down to the lower branch and watched the men approach. When they were closer, one of them burly with a sword in his belt, called up.

            “Ho, boy! I am Andiak of the Oaiod. What place is this?”

            I nearly took offense; I was fourteen, no longer a boy.

            “I am Ezidiah,” I said. “And this is the Great Forest.”

            “We are cut off from our people,” Andiak said. “We seek refuge.”

            “Only the one who lives in the Great Tree can offer refuge,” I said. “Follow me.”

            I leaped to a branch of the nearest tree, heading deeper from the outskirts into the forest.

            “Wait!” Andiak said. “We can’t climb trees like that. Come on down here!”

            I laughed.

            “I have only been on the ground twice before in my life,” I said.

            “Then move slowly, so we can follow you,” Andiak said.

            I smiled to myself, at the same time taking my role as guide seriously. One day I might be selected to be named In Care Of the Owl and to inhabit the Great Tree. In that light, I took my time as the two strangers on the ground followed my progress hopping from tree to tree above them, heading deeper into the forest.

            Even in midday, the deep forest was dark and I could see the men reacting with surprise to the lights in the trees and people looking down from their homes amid the branches and thick leaves, staring with equal astonishment at the strangers walking on the forest floor. The men stopped and pointed at the system of pulleys and swings that we use to move items from one tree to another. We kept moving and I passed the familiar big lit branches of the shop where I bought nuts and occasionally fruit. In fact, I felt the money I had been saving in my coin-pouch for my next visit. For an instant, I let myself breathe in the shop’s smells but then I caught a glimpse ahead of the ancient oak, festooned with streamers, glittering in the light from the carefully pruned branches of the canopy of leaves stretching above it. I waved at the men below and pointed.

            “The Great Tree,” I announced.

           

                                                —end—

 

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Window on the World, Monday Flash Fics

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Almost didn’t write one this week, but this just poured out of me in the middle of the week. Call it an attempt to say something optimistic, or just tell a good story. —–j                                                                                 

                                Window on the World

                                        By Jeff Baker

 

            “Isn’t this the same motel room?” Brian asked.

            “Yeah, I think so,” Dennis said. “Coincidence.”

            “How’d we luck out on this?” Brian said.

            “Only room still vacant,” Dennis said. “Rest of ‘em all filled up.”

            “Fifteen years since we vacationed here, a lifetime ago,” Brian said. “And now this.”

            “The plumbing here works now at least,” Dennis said. “After all the work we’ve been doing. It won’t be like before but…”

            Brian leaned over and kissed him. They lingered.

            “Nice,” Dennis breathed a moment later. “Yeah.” They both laughed.

            “We’re going to be up for a bit,” Brian said. “I’ve got rations in my bag, and some candles.”

            “You haven’t noticed, have you?” Dennis said grinning and pointing out the window. “Look.”

            “Motel,” Brian read. “Hey, lights! The power’s on!”

            “Maybe all over the country soon,” Dennis said.

            “I guess the end of the world wasn’t the end of the world,” Brian said leaning over to Dennis again.

                                                    —end—

                                                                                                                   

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Dance of the Hours–Monday Flash Fics

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This one was written heavily under the influence of Halloween!

                                   Dance of the Hours

                                        By Jeff Baker

 

            “Sssst! Over here! By this wall! Try not to attract attention!”

            “We’re naked. Anybody sees us, we get attention! Just glad you have a big backyard.”

            “Look! There they are!”

            “Which one’s yours?”

            “That one. The grey one with the creases.”

            “Eeeeew! That tie!”

            “Yeah. Birthday present. Any of those your clothes?”

            “Yeah. Those are all the ones I tried to put on this morning.”

            “What did you do, anyway?”

            “Same thing you did. Told the old lady she was too old for trick-or-treating.”

            “I told her she was pretty convincing as a witch but that we didn’t have any candy. Then, when I tried to get dressed for work this morning, my clothes just danced away!”

            “Same here. I didn’t think she was a real witch!”

            “Me either. Hey, there’s my bathrobe!”

            “Yeah, it’s dancing with my swimming trunks. I tried putting them on when my other clothes danced away.”

            “Just glad nobody can see us back here.”

            “Especially with that tan line, eeeeew!”

            “You’re nobody to talk!”

            “You going in to work like that?”

            “Nope. You?”

            “I have a home office. No video conference calls today, I hope.”

            “I’d better call in and, oh, crap!”

            “What?”

            “My cellphone’s in my jeans pocket. They’re out there dancing with your sweats!”

 

                                                —end—

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Topper Tricks or Treats–flash fiction for Halloween

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I’ve posted mystery fiction, science fiction, horror fiction but this is Fan Fiction. The main characters , first in a 1920’s novel by Thorne Smith, were in a 1950’s T.V. series. The series, oddly enough, never did a Halloween episode, so here it is! Happy Halloween, everybody!

                             Topper Tricks or Treats

                                         By Jeff Baker

 

            “George, Marion, you can’t be serious!” Cosmo Topper said. “Real ghosts going trick-or-treating!”

            “Why not?” Marion Kirby said. “Why should little kids have all the fun?”

            “Free candy! Doesn’t get any better than that!” George Kirby said, sipping a martini from the sidebar.

            “What are you two going to do, knock on people’s doors and ask for scotch?” Topper asked, thinking about a martini himself.

            “Woof!”

            “Might have known that would get your attention,” Topper said to the big, transparent dog sitting on the floor.

            “We’ve got an old trick-or-treat bag,” Marion said.

            “Yes, but you’re forgetting one thing, nobody can see or hear you except me,” Topper said.

            “That’s why we need you to come with us, Toppy,” said George.

            “What? No, never! Not even if you two wear sheets and hold up cards with ‘Boo’ written on them.” Topper said.

            “Aw, ‘c’mon!” Marion said. “It’ll be fun!”

            “Never!” Topper said. “I’m too old, for one. It’s after work for another and if we need candy I’ll go buy some at the store, not go begging. And that,” he said glaring at Neil who was looking up with big, doggy eyes, “is final.”

            Topper walked along the sidewalk a block away from his house carrying a trick-or-treat bag.

            “Look, Toppy!” Marion said, pointing to a sign. “A haunted house!”

            “Looks like fun! Let’s go!” George said.

            “Why?” Topper said. “I already live in a haunted house.”

            “The sign says they give treats at the end!” George said.

            “Well, all right,” Topper said. “But let me carry your trick-or-treat bags. There will be enough spooky things going on without paper sacks floating in the air.”

            “How many, bub?” said the kid taking tickets at the haunted house.

            “Three,” Topper said.

            “Woof!”

            “Four, I mean.”

            “I only see one of you,” the kid said.

            “Oh, right.” Topper said. “Anyway, one is probably cheaper.”

            Inside was a maze of corridors divided by some artificial walls.

            “Stick close together you two” Topper said.

            “Where’s the part with the treats?” George said.

            “Hey! Look what Neil found!” Marion said. The big St. Bernard was growling at a stairwell in which was poised a full-sized werewolf.

            “I think that’s a fake, old boy,” George said. “Here, let’s have a look at it.”

            George and Marion hoisted the werewolf from the stairwell and held it up for Topper’s inspection. At that moment, three of the house’s costumed employees, a vampire, a masked man carrying a chainsaw and a hoodlum in a sleeveless shirt with a baseball bat turned the corner, ready to frighten more customers.

            “Oh, is this yours?” Topper asked.

            What the three men saw was a large werewolf floating in mid-air in front of a man in a business suit carrying three trick-or-treat bags. The three men ran off in a panic as the werewolf floated towards them.

            “Oh, for goodness sakes you two,” Topper said. “Put that down and let’s go home. We’ve got enough candy and I think there’s some gin at the house.”

            Anyone on a certain street that Halloween evening would have seen a strange sight; a man in a suit and matching hat walking with two trick-or-treat bags which were bouncing along in mid-air ahead of him.

                                               

                                                —end—

 

Posted in Fan Fiction, Fiction, Halloween, Monday Flash Fiction, Short-Stories | 4 Comments

Unbreakable, Monday Flash Fics

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(Author’s note: This actually is an excerpt from something larger that I’m writing under my occasional pen name. More on all this later! —-J)

                                            Unbreakable

                            By Jeff Baker (As by Michael J. Mayak)

 

            “He got out?” Herriman said.

            “He didn’t escape, he collapsed as soon as he broke out of the tube,” Smith said. “He was hardly at his full strength.”

            “That glass cylinder is supposed to be unbreakable,” Herriman spat out. “And he’s supposed to stay in suspended animation. What happens when word of this gets out?”

            “It won’t get out,” Smith said.

            “Well, he almost did,” Herriman said. He paused and looked around the room, at the other men in the liquid-filled cylinders. “Does McCay know yet?”

            “I sent him an e-mail an hour ago.” Smith said.

            There was silence for a few moments and the two men could hear each other breathing in front of the silent, illuminated tubes filled with green liquid.

            “Thank God it wasn’t Doctor Apocalypse,” Herriman said. “This facility’s reputation would have been destroyed.”

            Doctor Apocalypse would have destroyed a lot more than Nix Olympica’s reputation. The corporation had put a lot on the line constructing a supposedly inescapable super-max facility. Supposedly inescapable.

            “Good work. You and your team, I mean,” Herriman said. “Getting him back in his cylinder before he could come to.”

            They stared in silence again.

            “Well,” Herriman finally said. “This should keep him suspended for at least another decade unless the solution runs out.”

            “Four months, tops,” Smith said.

            “Four months?” Herriman said, startled.

            “It’s when his sentence expires,” Smith said.

 

                                    —end—

Posted in Fiction, Monday Flash Fiction, Underlords | 1 Comment

Interlude With Wolves–October 17, 2016.

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                                    Interlude With Wolves

                                           By Jeff Baker

 

            The man had been sitting on the cliff overlooking the lake for some time when the wolves approached.

            “See,” the younger wolf said. “He’s barely moved since I was here this morning. And he didn’t notice me.”

            “No wonder,” said the older wolf. “I see humans like this one at this spot quite frequently. They come here to stare at the lake, the sky and the trees.” The older wolf flicked his tail. “But they come this distance to stare at wonders and ignore the wonders in the places they live; the growing grass, children, the beginning of a new day.”

            “How is it that you know so much?” the younger wolf asked.

            “Experience. Taking the time to observe with all my senses,” the older wolf said. “This man will return to his civilization and go back to his way of not noticing.”

            “Is he here to jump?” the younger wolf asked.

            “No,” said the older wolf. “There is no smell of death here, but he may fall if he is not careful. It is how men live their lives; between death and caution.”

            The two wolves turned and walked down the cliff, the younger wolf glancing back.

            “Our lives are better,” the older wolf said.  “We meet our food. We know how to breathe and how to live.”

            The younger wolf thought about this but he still looked back at the man one more time.

 

                                                —end—

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Something About Sharks–Monday Flash Fiction

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                                 Something About Sharks

                                          By Jeff Baker

            “Grrr! I’m a shark!”

            “Yeah, right,” the man said.

            “Benny Hill would have made a more convincing shark,” the woman said.

            “Okay, what’s wrong with the way I do a shark?”

            “The legs throw it off a little,” the man said.

            “So do the arms,” the woman said.

            “Hey, the top half was all we could afford!”

            “You’re supposed to scare people,” the man said.

            “Not wearing that shark miniskirt he isn’t,” the woman said.

            “Maybe if I stay in the water, don’t get near the shore?”

            “Good idea,” the man said.

            “There he goes,” the woman said.

            “Trust me, people will come here to see this and pay money. Even knowing the shark is fake,” the man said. “There was always something about sharks.”

            “I hope so,” the woman said. “How long have the sharks been gone, anyway?”

            “The last one was spotted in the Pacific around 2217, I think,” the man said. “That was almost thirty years ago.”

            “Thirty years,” the woman said. “Look! He’s out by the buoy!”

            “Maybe an underwater drone with a big fin sticking out,” the man mused.

 

                                                —end—

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