Along Came A Grasshopper

(“Thus Comes the Spider” part 4.)

by Jeff Baker

Concluding the story from last week —-jeff

The Kurtzberg Pavilion with its two story height and eight sides looked like an art deco version of Shakespeare’s Globe Theater with a roof and a skylight. Grasshopper and Lifewave landed next to the skylight. Lifewave quietly pointed to the device in his hand and to the window.

Through the window the pair could see Phobos and Mechanical Man gloating over a row of old-fashioned computer banks.

“That equipment’s straight out of Irwin Allen,” Grasshopper whispered.

Phobos wore a gaudy black, yellow and orange skin suit with a motif of yellow skulls and what looked like an air tank strapped to his back. Mechanical Man didn’t look mechanical at all; medium height, grey slacks and a white lab coat smudged with grease. Much of the room below was in deep shadow, even in the daytime. The windows had been boarded up years before.

“Hey,” Lifewave said. “Shouldn’t this skylight have been boarded up too?”

Before Grasshopper could answer, the skylight opened and they heard laughter straight out of a mad scientist movie.

“Did you think we couldn’t track you two too?” Phobos said.

“Me first!” Grasshopper said jumping down through the open skylight.

The two of them landed in front of the two villains.

“Okay, are you going to surrender or wait for Svengoolie to show up?” Grasshopper said.

“But the scary show is about to begin!” Phobos said.

Lifewave sneezed. There was something in the air. He began to shiver as he looked around; he had never been so afraid of the shadows before.

Grasshopper rushed over and the two of them looked around frantically.

“My fear gas still can’t be improved on,” Phobos said as he pressed a button and the skylight slammed shut. “But soon we will have something with a far wider range than gas.”

With a flick of another switch the lights came on, revealing matched pairs of giant mechanical spiders, scorpions and preying mantis.

Mechanical Man laughed. “Cowering heroes! Meet my spiders and their amazing friends! With them we will terrorize the populace and absorb their fear which we will use to rule North America!”

“What? Not the world?” Lifewave said in a shaky voice.

“It’s a start!” Phobos said. “His genius and my brilliance make us a two-in-one marvel!”

“Yeah? Gimmie a second,” Grasshopper said quickly jumping up and landing by the wall, pulling a lever. There was a whirring noise and fans on the wall came on, blowing the invisible gas around.

“You have a ventilation system in addition to those fans so that takes care of your fear gas,” Grasshopper said. “I guess it doesn’t work on grasshoppers!”

At least not on masked ones who saw that gas tank on Phobos’ back and can hold their breath, Grasshopper thought.

“Too late!” Mechanical Man shouted as he flipped another switch. The mechanical monsters began to move.”

“Don’t you have better dialogue?” Lifewave asked. “I keep expecting for the good scientist’s kidnapped daughter to show up.”

Grasshopper bounded around, avoiding the swipes of a scorpion’s metal tail.

“What? No Grasshopper? I’m offended!” Grasshopper said, bouncing off the back of a spider and almost into the pincers of the mantis.

“Now, my metal wonders will get both of you!” Mechanical Man said, fingering a control panel.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Phobos laughed.

Lifewave let out a burst of light which didn’t affect the robots or the villains but almost knocked Grasshopper for a loop.

“Hey, watch that!” Grasshopper yelled. “I have to see where I’m going!”

“But our contact lenses protect us from blinding light bursts!” Phobos said with another evil laugh.

There was a crash as Grasshopper jumped out of the way of the mantis’ claws and it swung down and hit one of the spiders.

“My biology prof would want to talk to you about your insects!” Grasshopper said.

“The two of you won’t talk at all when we…” Mechanical Man was manipulating the controls frantically as the metal monsters abruptly stopped moving. “What’s going on? And where is the other one?”

Lifewave popped up from behind the control console holding two unplugged power cords.

“Want some advice?” Lifewave said. “Next time, try solar. It works for me!”

Grasshopper bounded down and pulled the gas cylinder off of Phobos.

“Now to unplug you,” Grasshopper said punching the villain, who promptly collapsed.

“Glass jaw,” Lifewave said.

When the police arrived (the Pavilion actually had a working landline) Lifewave and Grasshopper left to let the authorities deal with the trussed-up bad guys.

“Besides, I’m never that sure they won’t want to arrest us,” Grasshopper had said as they bounded through the park.

Late that afternoon at their apartment, Arn and Bryan, the erstwhile Grasshopper and Lifewave snuggled close on the couch alternating between periods of kissing and periods of studying. They did watch the evening news and saw the footage of the bad guys being led away by the police as the newscaster recounted what they knew of the story.

“We should’ve left a note,” Bryan said.

“Naaah! No need.” Arn said. “They’re supervillians. They’ll spill out the whole story.”

“You speak wisdom, young grasshopper,” Bryan said.

“Aw, don’t say tha…” Arn said, interrupted by Bryan’s kiss.

—end—

AUTHOR’S NOTE: As should be obvious, this was my homage to Marvel Comics (Kurtzberg was Jack Kirby’s real name!) and the “Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends” cartoon from forty years ago. Since some other writers I know have been posting full-blown serials I decided to try one myself! It was fun to write, and I hope you had fun too! Thanks! See you next week! —-jeff