Have Yourself a Wonky Little Christmas

by Jeff Baker

“Gosh, Wonk,” Benjy Baxter said to the small, scruffy looking dog by his feet. “I know we’re in this TV studio a lot but I’ve never done a telethon before!”

The dog looked up and seemed almost to smile.

“Let’s just try to stay out of everybody’s way until it’s our time to go on,” Benjy said. looking at his watch. Only seven-thirty in the evening. A week before Christmas and the annual Christmas telethon for a local charity had been going on for over two hours already. He glanced around; from backstage he could see the big sign over the phone banks with the glittering words; WUBG CHRISTMAS TELETHON 1993; GIVE BIG.

Benjy and Wonky walked around behind the people answering the phone banks and glanced over at the big Christmas tree glittering with tinsel and lights, and fake wrapped presents underneath.

“And Wonk, don’t get any ideas about the tree, okay?”

Wonky wagged his tail. Benjy had been in on Wonky’s training with his uncle but sometimes he was sure Wonky understood everything Benjy said.

Benjy spotted a familiar face; Billy Gander, the station security guard, who Benjy thought looked a lot like Burt Mustin.

“How’s it goin’?” Benjy whispered, even though he was pretty sure they were away from any microphones in this back corner.

“Pretty good, Benjy. Hi Wonk!” Gander said. “Got it easy tonight. The station hired extra security guards for the telethon.”

“Why do they need extra security?” Benjy asked. “It’s just phoned-in pledges isn’t it?”

“Nope.” Gander said. “People drop by the station and drop off money and not just checks. There’s a whole lockbox with the cash in the office over there.” He pointed down the hallway and Benjy saw a uniformed guard standing beside the office door.

“You guys goin’ on?” Gander asked, pointing over at the stage where a man in a tuxedo was juggling what looked like bricks.

“Yeah,” Benjy said. “In another twenty minutes.”

Another uniformed guard walked past and Wonky suddenly looked up and growled. He jumped up, barked and started running after the guard who ran.

“Hey! Wonk! Hold it!” Benjy called out, running after the little dog.

The three of them raced past the Christmas tree, ran across the stage knocking over the juggler and the guard ran into one of the black curtains at the side of the stage, and Wonky jumped on him.

“Wonky, come back here!” Benjy yelled, running after the dog into the curtains. There was a ripping, popping sound and the curtain fell on all three of them.

When it was all over and the real security guards showed up, the station manager explained everything.

“They hadn’t put the money in the strongbox,” he said. “They’d been ducking behind the curtains and hiding it in these bags that are supposed to be full of sand but we don’t use now that we have metal weights. This stage is pretty old.”

“And they did it in front of everybody,” Benjy said. “Wow.”

“What I don’t understand is how Wonky figured it out.”

“That’s easy,” Benjy said. “The guard was carrying those meaty doggie treats in his pocket. To use if they ran into any guard dogs.” Benjy reached down and ruffled Wonky’s fur. The dog wagged his tail. “Those aren’t the HealthyTreat treats he usually gets but he went after them anyway. I’m really sorry if we wrecked the telethon.”

“Sorry, nothing!” the station manager said. “The cameras caught your chase and Wonky apprehending the guy. Pledges are coming in like never before.”

Benjy grinned and scratched Wonky behind the ears. He wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been something besides the doggie treats that had set him off. Wonky seemed to understand what was going on most of the time.

—end—