The Teepee And The Torpor

by Jeff Baker

The sun beat down on Route 66 ½ and the reddish side of the mountain beside the road.

In the huge cone-shaped structure with the worn sign reading “Teepeee Motel; We’ll Keep Your Wig Warm,” Conrad Malcolm leered evilly.

“Yes, my dear!” he sneered. “As you cannot pay the rent, this property is now mine!”

“You foul fiend!” Sweet June said, clutching the skirt of her print dress. “It’s all I have!”

“Nonetheless, you need to be off the property by sunset!” Malcolm said.

“But where will I go?” Sweet June asked plaintively. “What will I do?”

“Frankly my dear, I couldn’t care less!” Malcolm said cruelly, indicating the teepee flap with a flourish of his hand. “So, if you don’t mind?”

“Hold on you merciless malcontent!” boomed a heroic voice from outside.

“That’s what I’ll rename this place; The Malcolm-Tent!” Malcolm said.

Suddenly a muscular, square-jawed, tanned young man in Native American garb burst through the tent flap and landed on the ground.

“I took the slippery slide to get here faster,” he said. “I am Melvin Feather-Bonnet and I have the money!” the young man said fishing through his pockets.

“Along with a great deal of cultural appropriation,” Malcolm said.

“And now that I…that I…Oh, hell!” Melvin said. “Ward! I don’t have the money!”

“Cut!” Ward, the Director said. “Okay, where’s the prop man? We’re makin’ an infomercial here! Time doesn’t stand still!”

Melvin shrugged and Malcolm and June grinned at each other. This was a heck of a way to spend their honeymoon but that was showbiz!

As the cameraman gave them a thumbs up and they heard Ward grumbling about the prop man being off on a bathroom break, June and Malcolm leaned in to kiss each other, convinced they could hear tinkly old-time piano music rising to a triumphant crescendo mixed with audience applause.

The End

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The draws for the July 2024 Flash Fiction Draw Challenge were for a Melodrama, set in a teepee involving a slippery slide. As should be obvious, this one was inspired by one two many Dudley Do-Right cartoons as well as the spoof melodramas theater groups used to put on when I was a kid! And, no, I wasn’t able to work any “torpor” into the story but it sounded too good not to use! —-jeff