Nice Doggie!

By Jeff Baker

“This is crazy!” I said.

“Shut up and hoist me over!” Pete said.

“Let’s call a cab!”

“Cabs cost money,” Pete said. “Besides, I’m your designated driver, remember?”

“I know! I know!”

I’d had a couple of beers and we’d ordered breaded something-or-other and played a couple of video games at Heroes Sports Bar down town. It was Pete’s and my day off the next day so we stayed until dark. It was Wednesday and the downtown wasn’t too busy. Pete had parked his old VW in a parking lot by a warehouse with the date “1917” carved at the top, a ways away from all the other cars. Now the gate was closed and locked.

“Get down there and cup your hands under me,” he said.

“That’s breaking and entering!”

“We’re not breaking,” he said. “And I’ll only be there long enough to get the car out.”

“How are you going to…” I asked.

Then the large German Shepard ran up to the gate barking and growling. I jumped back.

“Cab,” I said. “Call a cab.”

“Not with this guy!” Pete said, bending down to the fence. “Hi, Kerney!”

The dog wagged his tail and so help me smiled!

“This is Kernel Klink,” Pete said as the dog licked his face through the fence. “My Uncle owns this warehouse. I used to work here in the summer. I’ve known this bad boy since he was a puppy!”

“You could’ve told me that!” I said.

“In between making out on the weekends and playing bar trivia I couldn’t find an opening,” Pete said. “Hey, Kerney! This is my friend Mason! Here, let him lick your fingers!”

“I’m not gonna…oh, hell.” I held my hand up to the gate and the dog sniffed and licked me through the wire gate. His tail was still wagging.

“See? He likes you!” Pete said.

“Yeah,” I said smiling. I hadn’t had a dog since I was a kid. “Does he know how to unlock the gate?”

Pete stared at me and stared at the dog. He shook his head.

“Call a cab?” Pete asked.

“Call a cab,” I said pulling out my cellphone.

“At least we know the car will be safe!” Pete said, glancing at Kernel Klink who was watching us quizzically, his tail flopping on the ground.

—end—